• Mayoral candidate Sam Adams calls BS on competitor Sho Dozono’s certification for public funding. Sho, there’s a pot of coffee brewing… perhaps it’s time to wake up and smell it.

• The call girl of disgraced ex-governor Eliot Spitzer has been identified, and… well, okay, Eliot. I will admit she’s cute.

• For her many crimes against the black race, Hillary Clinton apologized to African-Americans. And apologized… and apologized…

• New “colored” $5 bills are being released today… and Hillary is apologizing for those, too.

• Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are starring in a new Barack Obama political ad entitled, “I’m fucking Barack Obama.”

• OH! And lest I miss a golden opportunity to gloat, residents of Gresham will no longer be able to tape up the sidewalks, thereby “reserving” a spot for their fat asses at our Rose Parade. Ahhh… those were the days. (Circa June, ‘07)