Reader, lucky you. My hopes to avoid laziness and try being original this morning have FAILED. So I bring you episode TWO in a series of 38 online therapy sessions courtesy of reclusive millionaire, and republican funder: LorenBRRRRR. Disconnect. BRRRRR. Disconnect. BRRRRR. Disconnect. Parks.

Today’s video is dedicated to women. Yes, all of them. And their sexual problems.

“It really doesn’t apply to men because the mechanisms are usually different,” says Parks. “But for women the problem is guilt. And that problem comes from guilt trips that mother, preacher, parent, somebody who in the child’s mind is an authority figure, tells them how naughty sex is.”

Disconnect! Disconnect! Disconnect! It’s nine minutes long!

PARKS: “I’ve had quite a number of sexual partners and the most dramatic one was a woman who I took through 56 consecutive orgasms. That’s five-six orgasms. And I did not use hypnosis at all…”

“After working with her in bed, and I’m pretty skilled…”

Etcetera.