[What follows is not a formal review, but Abe’s impressions of the production, which due to scheduling constraints he was not able to see in its entirety—eds]

In the men’s room of the Firehouse Theater, there is a poster advertising a play entitled “Five Finger Exercise.” When I saw it I smiled, and hoped against my expectations that this wouldn’t be the comedic peak of the evening. Unfortunately, Cacophony Productions’ The Complete Word of God: Abridged is “zany” humor. “Zany” at it’s “zaniest.” Royal Hebert, Phillip Meyer, and Jeff Gardner deliver their puns and props with the subtlety of Robin Williams, and the material is handled with kid gloves. It appears that it was considered heretical enough simply to analyze the Bible, and thus we are given a Garden of Eden with fruit of the loom, a Letterman spoof on the top 10 rejected commandments (with such zingers as “thou shalt not pee in the swimming pool”), and the most embarrassing instance of white people rapping* I have ever scene, in a number entitled “Begattin’.”
To be fair, the target audience of this play finds The Complete Word of God: Abridged hilarious, and all around me people were indeed laughing throughout the night. And who knows, maybe after a few kids, and ten years of sitting through G-rated movies, I’ll be right there with them. But until then, it’s going to take more than a man in a wig to get a laugh out of me.

* yes, I know, there is fantastic white rap, there’s also this.

The Firehouse Theater, 1436 SW Montgomery St., 310-0771. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays. Closes March 29. $7-$12.