I swear to Christ, the daily American Idol controversies are the only thing keeping this show on the air—and today we had TWO of them! Not only has David Hernandez been accused of being a male stripper (relax, he’s not that hot) but a YouTube has surfaced featuring my personal favorite Idol contestant, Danny Noriega. That is, he WAS my favorite contestant until he instructed Santa Claus to have sexual intercourse with my mother… WHO’S DEAD, thankyouverymuch. I’ll continue to vote for you Danny—but only for America’s Next Top Feelings Hurter!
(Language NSFW.)