Blogtown, PDX

Monday, March 31, 2008

Drunk Will Justice Be Served in Patio Table Rapist Case?

Posted by Wm. Steven Humphrey on Mon, Mar 31 at 10:01 AM

Some say that “patio table rape” is a victimless crime. NOT EFFING TRUE, says me, and a very serious reporter for the Action 11 news team. When a man is busted for sticking his penis in a patio table’s umbrella hole—in full view of a playground, no less—Action 11 is on the job to whip the community into a moralistic frenzy. I mean… c’mon! What if it were YOUR patio furniture?

Comments

My patio furniture and I only get jiggy with it on the back porch. It's more romantic that way.

Posted by G | March 31, 2008 11:27 AM

You know that now, no matter what he was known for before, now he'll forever be known as "Art Price, the ... ah ..."

... well, you know.

FWIW, that cop was kinda scary. Yow!

Posted by Samuel John Klein | March 31, 2008 11:54 AM

I'm afraid to let my patio table out after dark now. What kind of world is this that we bring patio tables into?!

Posted by Andrew | March 31, 2008 1:59 PM

Well, that table was lookin' mighty fine...

Posted by Freshmaker | March 31, 2008 2:02 PM