"Keep Portland Weird"

"Warning: In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned"

the worst i evah saw was a huge truck and the sticker said "my other toy has tits"

"If you can read this, roll me over" (typeface upside down of course)

"I cast my vote for city council and all I got was this stupid homeless shelter"

"The goddess is alive and magic is afoot." That shit gives me road rage.

modest mouse

W '04
http://www.theaapc.org/globalimages/pollie2005/gold/40%20-%20W'04%20Bumper%20Sticker.jpg

I just want to scream at them: "It's all your fault!"

Any and all 'Support Our Troops' stickers on the outside of SUVs,Hummers and any other gas hogging automobile with only one driver in it.

"Work like you don't need money, Love like you've never been hurt, And dance like no one's watching."

Except everyone needs money, has been hurt and has to watch this idiot dance.

Do Not Meddle in the Affairs of Dragons, for You are Crunchy and Taste Good with Ketchup

"Won't it be a great day when schools have all the money they need and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber?"

Even though I kinda-sorta agree with the general sentiment behind it, it's such a horrible cliche by this point that I'm amazed people still put that one on their car.

Actually, the worst worst is "What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?"

I have to wonder what kind of people choose to put this on their vehicle.

"My other ride is your girlfriend"

"kids need BOTH Parents", always reminds me of my friend whose husband died three months after her baby was born.

also "eARTh", with the "art" part highlighted, is pretty bad.

Not a bumper sticker, but easily one of the more irritating and pretty inappropriate for a public place things I've seen on a truck (and it's always some redneck or macho latino):

http://www.thegreenhead.com/imgs/truck_nutz-2.jpg

If you don't run your fingers over my truck, I won't run your fingers over with my truck.

"ERACISM" has always struck me as stupid / vapid / unclever

sparkly fairy stickers,& sparkly "Roxy" or "HURLY" stickers. ew. pot leaves are dumb too. and grateful dead. And all hippies in general. ok.

sparkly fairy stickers,& sparkly "Roxy" or "HURLY" stickers. ew. pot leaves are dumb too. and grateful dead. And all hippies in general. ok.

kink.fm

I've seen several "one man/one woman" bumper stickers, but the unholy grail for me is to see a "kill a queer for Christ" sticker. Maybe if I search junkyards in rural Florida?

Any cranio-rectally inverted, arrogant, "I'm a Christian, deal with me!" stickers, including (but not limited to):

• The Big Bang Theory: God Said "Bang" and it happened.
• got jesus?
• Real Men Love Jesus (and,apparently, aren't too proud to brag)
• God Said It, I Believe It, That Settles It!

... and any window sticker which shows characters from Calvin and Hobbes (usually Calvin, but also Susie) praying in this shadow of the Cross. It's theft. Watterson never licensed his characters to be used by anyone (which is why you don't see C&H lunchboxes, etc). Theft is apparently okay if you do it for Jesus.

Got____? fill in the blank. They all suck. Also, Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes doing all kind of shit that he wouldn't normally do i.e. praying, killing Saddam Hussein, stopping an abortion, gay bashing etc. that just steams my mutherfuckin' clams.

"It's only kinky the first time"

Calvin pees on shit too. Pisses me off.

COEXIST in purple with the symbols.

blech

My other bike is a fixie

"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?"

'Keep Portland Weird'

That is the stupidest thing ever!

"Coincidence: When God wants to remain anonymous."

The best? "Stupid should hurt." I luv that one.

Saw one two days ago on a raised 4WD Jeep Cherokee that had a photo of Bush pointing, and the message said "Take THAT hippy! Four more years!"

And above it was some other republican sticker, so I assume it was not intended as ironic. And they don't know how to spell hippie.

And a woman was driving the car, which for some reason infuriated me even more.

"You toucha my car, and I breaka your face"

1: The three letter stickers made to resemble European license plates and temporary traveling stickers. There's on one the Mercury van that needs to come off. Today.

2: "Got Sand?" No. I don't fucking got sand. I'm not going to get sand. The endless parade of "bros" that have these stickers baffles me. Dudes shit is weak!

3: Anything on a 40-50 something wiccan lesbian's car. Such as the my other car is a broom, do not meddle in the affairs of dragons one, KBOO stickers, anything with the word goddess, etc...

4: Last but not least, you pretentious bastards with your apple stickers. I drink Irish Breakfast tea every morning. No sticker. I use a Sony Ericsson phone. No sticker.

5: I'm grumpy.

W'04 ... it's time to take it off.

Definitely any of that unlicensed fake Calvin crap. Anyone with one of those on their F150 or Wrangler should be fined heavily.

Equally annoying: weepy political messages of any kind (like Jay said usually on middle-aged lesbians economy cars) like "look at me I'm so enlightened I'm sooo much better than everyone else" -yet they're always out driving around wasting gas.

One Man One Woman- for sure (I spit on cars with these on them).

Also "Froggy FM"

"Find what you love, Love what you find"

"Imagine whirled peas"

"Graduate of the Ted Kennedy Driving School". It took my friend all the will power in the world not to rear end the asshole.

The best one I saw was a couple weeks ago on Belmont. "The Only Boss I Listen to is Bruce Springsteen"

"IADOREGON"
well, kinda funny

Anything having to do with Fairies, or Faeries - really pisses me off - I want to run them off the road.

I love ALL bumper stickers. They give us an interesting little glance into what people are thinking. And that's a good thing, broadens our understanding of those around us.

Okay, not one I've seen, since I made it for myself and I don't own a car. But I'm throwing it out there because I hate the opposite ones. Which is why I made it in the first place...

"My child's self-esteem is not based on academic achievement"

Oh wow, I just remembered one I saw on an old Chevy truck in Alturas, CA back in December.

"How did our oil get under their sand?"

"Proud parents of a sailor"

If I ever start a band, that'll be the name.

I hate cowboy/cowgirl bumper stickers so much. Like, "Good cowgirls keep their calves together" or "Cowgirls like to ride bareback" or "Save a horse ride a cowboy" or "Cowgirls do it rodeo style."

Grrr.

I've always wanted to make a guerrilla bumper sticker, to hide among the dozens you see on some cars: "Just Because You Agree, Doesn't Mean It Belongs On Your Car"

@33

When I was a kid I had a t-shirt that said "You toucha my shirt, I breaka you face". I wore it once, everybody touched my shirt that day.

I think that was the last time I wore a shirt with a "saying" on it.

How about the ones with stick figures depicting the entire family with names of the kids and even pets listed under the figures? Seems to be a suburban SUV soccer-mom phenomenon....so wholesome.

"Guns don't kill people-I kill people"

"Not all who wander are lost." Yes, you are, and you were before you left home.

I don't really agree with this sentiment, but I thought it was kinda funny anyway...

"so you're a feminist, isn't that cute..."

"My Other Car is a Dick...WANNA RIDE?"

"attack iraq? NO!" "endthis/endless war"

Basically any sticker on a car - It's not a notebook and you're not in 6th grade. Do you really need to put a sticker on it?

speaking of KEEP PORTLAND WEIRD, which I agree, is horrible.
I got sucked into the KEEP PORTLAND WEIRD event at City Hall last night, and the woman manning the "Keep Portland Weird" table, selling those god awful bumper stickers, was having a complete shit fit ranting about how she HATED and would like to kill the Zoobombers, as well as having a shit fit about how worthless Sam Adams is, and that she was voting for SHO.
Well, isnt she going to Keep Portland Weird!
Figures!

"real men love jesus" bothered me most memorably.

"I love ALL bumper stickers. They give us an interesting little glance into what people are thinking. And that's a good thing, broadens our understanding of those around us."

I wish I had a bumper sticker to express how I feel about this post.

I have to second the "Calvin pissing on the logo of a rival car manufacturer" stickers. Terrible.

[Um... is there really a sticker with Calvin stopping an abortion??]

@41, Are you one of those middle-aged Wiccan lesbians?

The Wonderbread LO crowd v. the middle-aged, wiccan lesbians snark around here is hilarious.