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Monday, April 14, 2008

Portland “Awesome” Is A Lazy Word.

Posted by Matt Davis on Mon, Apr 14 at 11:22 AM

When I was at primary school I had a teacher called Mrs. Evil, who insisted we do our work over again if anybody used the word “nice.” I don’t mean on an individual basis. I mean the whole class. For example: If you and I were in the same class, and Mrs. Evil had asked us to write a story about bears, and your opening sentence was “Bob the bear is a nice bear,” not only would YOU have to re-write YOUR story, I would have to re-write MY story, and so would everyone else in the class, even if our opening sentences were things like “Bob the bear wore a monocle because he wanted to appear intellectual, even though he was a confidence trickster who had just got out of prison,” or “Bob the bear was an affable fellow who had little trouble making friends.” You’ll notice those last two examples did not include the use of “the lazy word.” They were “hard-working sentences” written by children who cared. But still. We would all have to re-write our pieces regardless, because YOU were an ID. I. OT who couldn’t even avoid using the word “nice” with the threat of being ostracized by 32 other eight-year-olds.

Portland, “AWESOME” is the new “NICE,” and I am the new Mrs. Evil. If I catch any of you using the word in future, I will have all of Portland re-write its work and we won’t be going home until you get it through your heads. I don’t mean to preach, I don’t mean to sound aggressive for the sake of it. Actually I do. But I’d rather be straightforward with my emotions:portlandawesome.jpg
NEW BLOG: WHAT DOES ‘AWESOME’ MEAN?!

I’m not denigrating Portland’s latest blog before it gets going. In fact, I’d encourage you to get over there and maybe even write for it. They need contributors. But having used the word “awesome” seven million times over the last two years, I’ve decided it’s about time I started thinking harder before I employ it. And so should you. Let’s hope the only time the word “awesome” is used over there is in the title. Because what does awesome mean? Does Portland truly inspire awe? Does it provoke the kind of awe that would cause me to get down on my knees and pray to it? No. Portland isn’t a “nice” town, either. It’s a young city with a lot going for it. But to turn it into something “awesome,” we all need to start working harder on how we describe and think about ourselves.

Comments

Nice story Matt. You are an awesome dude.


At present, "awesome" is to the US what "brilliant" is to the UK. Let's all work on expanding the lexicon.

I will say awesome if I want to. And keep your grubby British paws off my stories, Mrs. Evil.

I agree wholeheartedly, Matt. "Awesome" is the thirty year old, balding son of cool. It's high time for awesome to move on with his quarter life crisis, stop doing so much blow and embrace a more refined sense of self.

If no one uses "nice" or "awesome" anymore, what in heaven's name will I use for my noncommittal descriptions of people and things I don't like?

hows this one,

"Matt Davis wrote a blog because he wanted to appear intellectual, even though he is not 'awesome' or even 'nice'..."

as a devout Jason Anderson fan, I urge you to watch your step where the word 'Awesome' is concerned.

Every time I hear someone use the word awesome and they are not staring point blank at an erupting volcano, I just think they're an idiot.

I take that back. A mushroom cloud. They must be staring point blank at a mushroom cloud.

Otherwise, they're an idiot.

Best/Worst use of 'awesome' ever:
While checking out a house for rent, I heard another (white) prospective renter ask the landlord what was up with the apartments across the street (which was largely populated by black people).

The landlord explained that they were refugees from Sudan, starting their lives over after going through/witnessing horrific things.

So he ends off with;"...raped, tortured and killed before coming here."

"That's AWE-SOME!" shrieks prospective renter, perhaps not getting what that sounded like (i.e. that she was saying Suffering Rocks!, not 'Oh, good thing they got out').

I think she got the house, too.

I'll agree "awesome" is a lazy word, and Portland is Awesome is a lazy blog. I came up with the idea, registered a random domain (all the good ones are taken), and spent a few hours this weekend getting it up and running. To avoid having to blog too much, I took the lazy way out and got a bunch of my friends to write for it :-)

I'm just glad you haven't taken me to task for calling a biscuit a cookie. Or the other way around.

I'M CONFUSED.

portlandisnice.com looks to be available

/ducks

I think it is high time we bring back "bitchen".

Clearly, this city needs more twenty-somethings blathering on about how great it is. Please move here, we all sit around crosslegged in a circle and mend clothes while listening to YACHT and coming up with new ways to look unique while riding a bike. It's so totally positive and we just had a potluck and someone brought over vegan green beans! Can you believe it? There's just so much good in the world and we're at the center and let's have an adult prom and act like we're all going to be famous graphic designers in three years when daddy stops paying for art school.

(Portland is a) "young city".
*snerk*
Uh, sure...

Matt,

You inquired as to the meaning of the word awesome. Actually, you mangled the English language with the horribly constructed and improperly punctuated sentence, "Because what does awesome mean??"

You also mocked the author of the blog by asking, "Does Portland truly inspire awe? Does it provoke the kind of awe that would cause me to get down on my knees and pray to it?"

One has merely to open a dictionary to find the answer. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, 'awesome' not only means, "inpiring awe", but in informal usage means, "excellent". http://www.askoxford.com/concise_oed/awesome

You obviously reject the informal use of the word 'awesome' and insist on strict adherence to linguistic formality. That's all well and good, but if one sets out to nit-pick and snipe at other's use of the English language, one had darn well better be certain that his own linguistic practices are indeed awesome. And by awesome, I mean "inspiring awe". You can be certain that they do not. Your writing is littered with sentence fragments ("But still.", is not a complete sentence), run-ons, numerous grammatical errors and lots of informal word uses.

Perhaps your time would be better served improving your own writing, rather taking swipes at others.

Flattered that you think I am a "twenty-something". Since I just turned 37 last week this makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

I observed Mount Saint Helens blow a stack of filthy, turbulent, roiling, lightning-laced ash twice the height of Mount Everest on 18 May 1980--and never uttered "awesome" once.

I'll be damned if some fucking limey who probably uses rhyming slang, the shittest shit that ever shat, is going to lecture me on my vernacular.

Whenever I hear the word "Awesome" I reach for my pistol.

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