Live from the Rose Garden as the Portland Trail Blazers end of the season death march continues on with tonight’s game against the Houston Rockets.

The Blazers are playing for a winning season (their first since 2002-2003), but to do that, they need to win at least four of their final seven games. Meanwhile, Houston was supposed to drop like a, um, faulty rocket once they lost Yao “I Hate Tibetan Prayer Flags” Ming for the season, but instead they are still in the playoff hunt, thanks to Tracy “I Have a Girl’s Name” McGrady.

Pre-Game:
If the NBA has dog days, these are it. The season is winding down and unless your team is in the playoff hunt (the Blazers, they are not), there isn't anything left to play for other than pride... yes, little Jimmy Pride, a sickly kid in the hospital whose dying wish is for the Blazers to have a winning season. Come to think of it, that's a pretty odd dying wish. Why not one night with a supermodel? Or a blimp ride? Kids, they love those blimps. Win one for Jimmy!!!

Rafer Alston is a late scratch for tonight's game, which is good news for the Red & Black. But it's bad news for all those Rafist jokes I had planned. Ugh, get ready for 48 minutes of me making fun of Dikembe Mutombo.

TNT picked a great game to televise nationally. The Blazers are without Brandon Roy (or as he is known in France, Brandon Wah), while the Rockets are missing their franchise player (Yao), along with Alston as well. But hey, at least Steve Novak is on the court.

First Quarter:
9:03 - And the injuries just keep coming. Martell Webster was just shipped off to the hospital (say hello to Jimmy Pride, he's in the "sick kid with a dying wish" ward) with "flu like" symptoms. He will not be playing tonight. Meanwhile, Shane Battier knocks back the same shot twice, a three pointer from the corner and Houston has the early advantage. 6-3 Rockets.

8:02 - Mutombo SWATS Przybilla, then refuses to go back on offense in order to stand in the key and do his famous "not in Mutombo's house" finger wave. That was both sad, and sort of cute. 8-7 Houston.

5:51 - If you are the betting type, here's hoping you took the under. With no Webster, Roy, Ming, Alston, Drexler (for both teams)... there isn't going to be a whole lot of scoring tonight. Let's hope the entire Blazers team isn't outscored by Tracy McGrady. 10-9 Rockets.

4:20 - And down goes the Gorilla! Przybilla is tripped up by Mutmbo and the THUMP his fall makes is audible all the way up here in press row. But hey, it's a low scoring tie! Everyone loves those. 13-13.

2:32 - McGrady wakes up and realizes that he's clearly the best player on the court, in the arena, and inside the entire state of Oregon. He dunks it. He hits a running jumper. He gets the Blazers Dancers digits. 20-19 Houston.

0:01 - LaMarcus Aldridge hits a put back lay-up while getting fouled (and landing flat on his back). Ouch. 23-22 Rockets.

Second Quarter:
11:30 - Luther Head hurls a three-pointer at the shot clock buzzer and somehow it goes in. That was the most desperate shot I have ever seen taken. 28-24 Houston.

8:04 - The Blazers are shooting a mere 33% from the field, so they should be grateful they are still in this game. Meanwhile, the Rockets bench is responsible for their recent burst in scoring, this includes former Oregon Duck (and current trader to his onetime home state) Aaron Brooks. Jerk. 33-26 Rockets.

6:00 - The Rockets are shooting 85% from beyond the arch. That is totally insane. That is a good percentage for layups and dunks, but for threes? It's ridiculous. 38-30 Rockets.

3:34 - Travis Outlaw over McGrady with a sweet fall-away jumper, but Tracy gets his revenge with another damn three-pointer. The Rockets lead is now 16. Dang. 50-34 Houston.

0:34 - Games like this can be a bit distracting, because I just noticed Ronald McDonald (in full garb, from the giveaway contests during the last break) sitting in the third row and talking on his cell. Who the fuck is calling the clown? Oh, the Blazers have started their own little comeback, cutting the lead to single digits. 52-43 Rockets.

Third Quarter:
10:03 - Outlaw for three, and now it's only a two possession game. 52-48 Houston.

9:19 - Luis Scola just committed fouls on three straight plays. That is impressive. Not as impressive as that three foot airball Przybilla just shot, but still... 54-50 Houston.

7:19 - Aldridge with a hook shot, and Przybilla with a technical foul. Turns out that the Gorilla was tossing elbows. For shame, big guy, for shame. 56-52 Rockets.

5:35 - WOW! First off, Przybilla gets his revenge on Mutombo by swatting his dunk attempt away, but he stays classy (for a guy just caught throwing an elbow a minute before) and doesn't wave his finger at him. On the other end of the court, the Human Turnover Jarrett Jack somehow draws a charge and hits a shot while falling down. It's a tie game, and Jack has a chance to give the Blazers the lead. 58-58 tie.

3:50 - Outlaw with the steal and before he can breakaway for a fancy aerobatic dunk where he backflips and hangs from the disco ball in the rafters, he's grabbed by the ankles and taken down. Not sure how that isn't a clear path (two shots and the ball) foul, but the Blazers will take what they can get. 63-61 Portland.

2:04 - Steve Blake, you owe Portland three points. Blake somehow blows an easy fast break, that leads to an easy three from McGrady. 66-63 Houston.

0:00 - That was ugly. The Blazers cough it up on their last four possessions and look just about as terrible as they have been all season long. Jarrett Jack throws a temper tantrum. I throw a temper tantrum. 74-63 Rockets.

Fourth Quarter:
9:58 - Dr. Turnover hits a three for Portland, but the Blazers still have a long way to go. 74-66 Houston.

7:45 - McGrady hits another, his 28th point of the night, and the Rockets push the lead to 9. At times like this, I sure miss Brandon Roy. 79-70 Rockets.

5:36 - The McGrady show continues, this time he hits another improbable basket while getting hacked by Outlaw. It does not look good. 85-74 Houston.

3:28 - The Blazers double team has worked on McGrady (for now, but he already has 33), but they are struggling to score on the other end. People are leaving. 91-78 Rockets.

1:42 - It's all over, as the Blazers fall to .500 on the year. But it gets worse. The next two games are versus San Antonio and the Lakers, so get ready for this team to have more losses than wins. 93-81 Rockets.

0:09 - What a fitting end. Outlaw goes for the dunk and dramatically misses it. Ugh. 95-86 Rockets.