As you may have noticed, earlier today Erik posted a Mercury poll to help him decide who he should take to the pre-release screening of Iron Man: Me or Ezra “I bathe only when neighbors a block away complain” Caraeff. You voted and here are the idiotic results:

HAPPY NOW? If you really wanted to prove how much you hate Erik, then you’ve succeeded beyond your wildest expectations, because it’s Ezra who will be sitting next to him in the film, instead of me. Even though I clearly care and know more about Iron Man than Ezra “I fart and eat apples in movie theaters” Caraeff, the voters decided to send him. Why? BECAUSE OF A SHE-HULK JOKE? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! When I asked him if he had ever heard of “repulsor rays,” he replied, “DUH! ARE THEY EMO MUSIC?”

Well, I’m happy for you, Erik! I’m sure you’ll enjoy Iron Man—that is, if you don’t mind Ezra asking you to hold his hot chili-covered Fritos, while he obsessively fingers the rash on his taint, and yells at the screen, “DUH! WHEN AM THEY GONNA PLAY EMO MUSIC??” (Oh, and whatever you do, don’t reach into that popcorn box on his lap.)