• Will former pop idol Hillary Duff be starring in the new Beverly Hills, 90210 remake? (More importantly, will she revive her Mercury column, “Stuffin’ Your Muff with Hillary Duff”?)

• Was American Idol contestant Carly Smithson voted off for blaspheming the name of Jesus Christ? Orrrrr maybe because she’s really just unlikeable?

• Former SNL douche Jimmy Fallon will be taking over Conan O’Brien’s chair in 2009. Oh… were we supposed to somehow like him better next year?

• Tom Cruise is returning to Oprah! (Insert couch jumping joke here.)

• Hey! Prince is on the Tonight Show… tonight!

• Ready for some fake TV that is more real than most real TV? Check out this hilarious/sad-because-it’s-true clip from the ONION NEWS NETWORK—sponsored by Home Depot. “Honoring our fallen heroes… with power tools!”

Home Depot Honors Fallen Soldiers With Great Prices On Tools