THE FIGHTERS:

• Uwe Boll (Alone in the Dark, House of the Dead)
• Michael Bay (Transformers, The Island)
• Eli Roth (Cabin Fever, Hostel)

THE INSTIGATING COMMENT:

Some context: There’s a petition online to get Uwe Boll to stop making his terrible, terrible movies. When asked about it, here’s what Uwe said:

FEARNET: Are you aware that there is a petition online, signed by 18,000 people, requesting that you stop making movies?

UWE BOLL: Yeah, I know that. 18,000 is not enough to convince me.

How many would it take?

One million. Now we have a new goal.

Then Uwe backpedaled, and asked his fanbase (wait, what?) to start up “like, a pro-Boll” petition. Get ready to hear some mad shit-talking and unintentionally hilarious boasting—all delivered via a wacky German accent!

THE RESPONSES:

Michael Bay: “I find people who rant like that—calling shit about both me, and George Clooney—comes from someone screaming because he is not being heard. He is obviously a sad being.”

Eli Roth: “Greatest compliment ever.”

George Clooney has yet to respond, probably because he’s busy having the exact opposite career of Uwe Boll, Michael Bay, or Eli Roth. In related news, hearing Uwe say “fucking retard” (it sounds like “fuggink reeeetahd!”) might be the best thing ever.

Thanks Cinematical, Kotaku, Michael Bay, and /film.