Today, I’m finishing up my lunch with some Yan Yan! What’s Yan Yan, you ask? That’s what I wanted to know! So I picked up the cute pink package and purchased it along with my mysterious noodle-juice-pork-carrot salad. After plowing through the salad, and gulping down some guava juice, I’m going straight for the Yan Yan.

Peeling back the lid reveals a handful of long cookies and a separate pink dipping sauce. So far so good! Dipping one of the cookies in the sauce I’m pleased by the crunchy strawberry goodness. I cannot believe my luck. Not only is Yan Yan good, it goes perfectly with guava juice!

Hey, what’s this? There’s writing on the cookies. Hmmm…

“Giraffe Tallest Mammal.”

How informative. My Yan Yan taught me something! Let’s see what else it has to say…

“Starfish Star + Fish.”

Okay, less informative, but yeah… it’s true. Ooooo, here’s another…

“Goat You Are Lucky Today.”

Wait. What?

“Stag Beetle Love It”

Hold it. Just hold on one damn second, Yan Yan! What is this all about?

“Rabbit Eat More Carrots”

Eat more carrots? But you’re a cookie coated in sugary strawberry candy! How dare you tempt me with your sweetness and then rebuke me for it! Double standards, Yan Yan, double stand….

“Cow Muuuuuuuu”

And now you interrupt me! Besides, Yan Yan, that’s not how you spell “moo.”

“Fox Beware Of Lies”

… Okay, you have completely stumped me, Yan Yan. I have no idea what to say to that. I mean, aren’t you made for children? Are lies a real concern for children? My god, Yan Yan… You are promoting paranoia in children! You’re promoting paranoia in me! That’s it… We’re never talking together again.

“Snail Snail Mail?”

Well, okay… I guess I could write you… but that’s it. Goodbye Yan Yan. Maybe forever.