My God, it’s 8am Saturday morning and we’re headed towards Hillsboro. That’s right—8am, Saturday, Hillsboro. I don’t fucking believe it. But if that’s what Hillary wants, well, that’s what Hillary gets. And if she wants to drag a bunch of people out of bed to drive 20 minutes out of town, well godammit, it’s her choice.

Thoughts and apprehensions about how this ill-concieved rally will stack up against Obama’s recent rock-star blow-through of Memorial Coliseum fill my mind. But as we pull into the massive Liberty High School parking lot I’m surprised.

There's a massive line of people waiting to get in. It wraps and twists for maybe a quarter mile or more. Hundreds and hundreds of them, almost all of which are white and suburban looking. They don't look like people new to the process. But to be fair, there are a few younger people, and I must say that getting anyone under 30 to drag their asses out of bed on a Saturday morning for a political rally is something.

A very dignified, quiet, classy protest of China's crackdown in Tibet is out front--actually, I'm not sure if you can call it a protest. Maybe more of a simple statement. Tibetan flags, literature and signage. Totally devoid shouting or in-your-face type shit, just there, in a neat line, being seen.

Amongst those waiting to get in there are hippies hawking bootleg Hillary buttons and shirts, and the usual cadre of petitioners and obnoxious issue people who are too perky and intrusive for these types of early mornings, or for the matter, anytime--especially weekends.

A father and son are parked right near the entrance with a mavise cloth banner that reads: "Monica Lewinsky's ex-boyfriend's wife for President." The duo are getting an equal amount of chuckles and abuse. The dad said someone told him his "penis would fall off if he voted for Hillary" (???) and another told his son that he "needed a good blowjob" because it would "help change his perspective." Of course, there were a lot more usual calls of "How does it feel to be a sexist jerk?" and "do you remember how good the 90's were?"

Inside the immaculate high school gym was filling up. Three thousand people would make it in while many would be turned away. For whatever reason there were many areas of the gym which were off limits that could've held, perhaps, everyone who wanted to come.

Buzz is building. Two young, coifed, and totally obnoxious aides appear to kill some time. They are snotty, bland, little status-climbers--the kind of kids in high school that took student government much too seriously, and still they barely won (and only because no one else wanted to do it.)

They told the crowd how they could help Hillary right now, and handed out cold-call lists with names and phone numbers. They actually asked people to phone bank for them, right then and there. It was incredulous and people went for it. I got one of the lists.

Each one has five names and numbers of potential voters, each with their own corresponding bar-code. There are checkboxes for "Supporter: Yes / No". Below there is a "Persuasion Script":

Hi, my name is _____ and I'm calling from a Hillary Clinton event in Hillsboro and Hillary is about to take the stage. I'm supporting Hillary because she has spent the past 35 years fighting for American families and she has real solutions to tackle the tough issues we're facing...

I couldn't believe it. It seemed sick. Volunteer shortage? Campaign office behind on setting up the phone bank? Give me a break and get your shit together. But people did it. I listened as some really enthusiastic callers had their pitches both accepted and rejected. Overall, it's got to be pretty strange to get a call from some jackass who's in the middle of a very loud room, whom you've never heard of. I'll tell you, if I get a call like this--from any campaign--the caller is going to get a wicked tongue-lashing.

It's getting close now. The crowd is pretty goddamned excited. Here she comes in a brown pantsuit, along with Congresswoman Darlene Hooley and Governor Ted Kulongoski. The gym bursts with love and loud as cameras and cellphones pop like firecrackers. Clinton is doing her patented Clap Clap, Point Point routine. Hooley opens with a short speech which totally outshines the limp-dicked Kulongoski. He is devoid of charisma. It's a miracle the man was re-elected.

Hillary is standing with them on the stage and hardcore fans are foaming at the mouth for a taste. Once Kulongoski waddles aside, Clinton is treated to a good solid minute of applause. Her crew isn't as large as Obama's, but it's hardcore members are fucking fierce.

For good reason, people are bonkers over the Democratic race, and with all the media and hype surrounding it, they're here to play and revel in it somewhat. They want a feel that rockstar life--to be a part of something crazy and new. At first, the entire crowd is standing. After a quick lighthearted joke about Obama's bad bowling skills that falls somewhat flat (she aint no comedian), Hillary shuffles towards ill-advised low-energy talk of malaise. She fires off shots of thick buzzkill, mentioning troops without body armor, the assassinations of Martin Luther King, Bobby Kennedy and Vietnam all within the opening two or three minutes. She plods forward like a flat-footed, small-town boxer who's fighting for a judges decision (she does this in the speech, but by god, it's a pretty perfect metaphor for the campaign as well...).

Despite the slow start, Clinton's rabid fans aren't going to let it get them down--hell, maybe they expected it. She moves into her usual stump--on healthcare, Iraq, schools, etc.--and the fans get up for the usual applause lines. At one point the applause continues long passed the normal interval, but not because of the particular topic--it felt like a, "hell yeah, we're pumped and we're not giving up this fight no matter what" moment.

Clinton did talk a lot about refusing to give up, both in the work that she does, and against Barack Obama. That the speech even has to include the assurance of continuance to a bunch of snarling fans is odd. Should it be part of the conversation in this place and time? Wouldn't appearing confident enough to act as if calls to drop-out were a non-issue be just as strong or stronger?

Hillary's life of past battles leaves her with a view of the future that is paved by struggle. Certainly it is her campaign narrative that the country needs a fighter because partisan politics are so rough. But at times her vision seems overly bleak. If the power of the president is largely the control of the bully pulpit, it seems counter-intuitive to bag on hope.

In hopes of making that local connection, Hillary says of her new Oregon campaign office, it's good to "blaze a home in the land of the trailblazers." I'm not sure if she's referring to basketball or what. Later she used the term "silicon forest" to describe the area.

The crowds furor has dampened a little bit and the standing ovations are now split. Some are getting up and others aren't. I move into the middle of the closest bleachers and find some in attendance are starting to look a little tired. There are a few yawns. But still, for every person lacking exuberance there is a hardcore supporter making enough noise for two. One guy behind me, during every big applause moment shouts a most aggressive "YEAHHHH!" His tone is strangely jockish.

In a brief pause during talk of foreign oil someone blasts out "9/11 is a lie" loud and clear. It certainly turns some heads, but Hillary, of course, is wise enough never to go near that one.

The speech feels like it's been going on a while now. To Hillary's credit she knows every wonky angle on the issues, but she can't seem to leave them out to keep up momentum. Suddenly, and pointlessly, she invites a local organic farmer to the stage to tell her story of a struggle with imminent domain laws. It doesn't seem like the time or place. It goes on, and at the end the farmer asks Hillary a question which she doesn't quite answer. By this point, people are pretty much done standing during their applause.

Now begins the town-hall portion of the show, which Hillary prefaces with, (and I'm paraphrasing) "I know it's Saturday and you've got things to do, but if you want to stick around I'm going to answer some questions." Not exactly compelling. As Amy later put it, "that's what the unknown writer says at Powell's--not a candidate for President."

A slow drip of people begin heading towards the exits.

Clinton took four or five questions, most of which she had already covered in her speech. A local teacher asked her which current Supreme Court justices she admired and she didn't name one, rather sashayed around and left it at that.

After looking for a question from a child--as the first she picked out was just waiving--Hillary got a ridiculously open-ended question: "What will you do about the loss of water?" Wide-eyed, Hillary went all over the place with this one. During the windy response, which went from environmentalism to Darfur, I began feeling like she was wasting my time.

Though the room remained mostly full throughout, the stream of people towards the doors was growing.

Clinton took one more question and then, perhaps finally noticing that people were getting a little warn out--although I do think she'd be happy hash out over policy minutiae all day--quite abruptly, she wrapped it up. There wasn't a big applause line, or nice ending, it was just kind of done.

Hundreds crowded down to the rope-line for autographs and hand-shakes and baby kisses as "Don't Stop Believing" came over the PA. It's a very strange song, somewhat ineffective song for this--or any--campaign. It starts off slow, and the words "she was just a small town girl / living in a lonely world" are just a bit eerie for Clinton's situation.

In the car I asked Amy how long the thing went. She had an hour and fifteen minutes of audio recorded, ten of which belonged to Hooley and Kulongoski. The rest was Hillary's time. Barack, when he came to town, did a little more than half that.

Someone in Hillary's campaign staff might want to remind her of the old showbiz maxim: "always leave them wanting more." I'm not sure she did that today.