On Friday night, I saw Artist Rep’s very solid production of A Streetcar Named Desire. I’m still working on my review, which will be in this week’s paper, but here’s a very loose dramatic reenactment of the most memorable part of the show:

Stanley: RAWR, I AM MAD AT STELLA. THE WAY SHE CLEARS THE TABLE MAKES ME FURIOUS! [ed: I can’t remember exactly what the line was]

Stanley grabs a plate off the table and hurls it angrily into the audience, where it strikes the man sitting directly behind me in the forehead with an audible THUNK.

No one moves. Stanley looks horrified. Stella and Blanche freeze in a mortified tableau.

Audience Member, loudly: Ow!

Stanley: Oh my god. I am so sorry. Are you ok?

Audience Member: Ow, FUCK.

Stanley: I’m so sorry. Are you ok? Do you need to leave?

Audience Member (rubbing his forehead): Naw, shit happens, it’s the theater.

Stanley: Ok, then… Believe it or not, the next line is, ‘That’s how I clear the table!’

Scene continues. Audience Member waits for a break between scenes and slips out discretely. For the rest of the show, audience collectively flinches any time Stanley makes a sudden movement.

After the show, another actor told me that “Audience Member” was actually Floyd Sklaver, a writer at Just Out (and according to my sources, he was fine, a little shaken up but laughing about it). The plate, meanwhile, slipped out of Stanley’s hand, causing him to miss his mark. Luckily, it didn’t shatter on impact, as apparently it was designed to do. Youch!

Streetcar runs Tues-Sun at Artist Rep’s second stage, tickets here.