7:34 PM: There’s a chocolate cake with white frosting that reads “Sweet Victory!” at Amanda Fritz’s “family friendly” party (translation: no one is drunk) at the Ecotrust building in the Pearl—the same site which, two years ago, was the MOST DEPRESSING GODDAMN PARTY I’VE EVER BEEN TO, when Fritz got blown out of the goddamn water by Dan Saltzman and, shortly thereafter, the janitor of the Ecotrust showed up and kicked everybody out. (I told you. Depressing.) This time, though, she’s got a good chance to win, or so I am told; frankly, all I know is that this party, already, before any results have even come in, is already far less horrible and soul-killing and terrible than the last go-around, when Fritz left out a copy of her unused victory speech lying around, which I might have stolen.

The other thing that’s different this time—aside from that cockily-frosted cake—is that this time, Fritz’s mother-in-law is manning a guest book, jumping on anyone who enters Ecotrust and having them sign. She’s nice and has me sign in even when I tell her I’m from the Mercury! I like nice old people. Anyway, I resist the urge to sign is as “Phil McCrotch,” as I signed in when I attended my grandmother’s wedding. (It was hilarious. Phil! McCrotch!)

7:38 PM: Fritz takes the podium for her speech, before results can possibly be announced—the earliest they’ll come in is 8. I’m not sure why she’s speaking so early, but it’s kind of the opposite of interesting or dramatic—so far, she’s thanking her supporters, having them hold up their hands if they donated $5 to her campaign, etc., calling her campaign one “of friendships or neighbors.” “Raise your hands if you helped wave signs at intersections!” she says, and her supporters applaud themselves, and I wish I had the foresight to bring my flask.

7:46 PM: “One of the differences between this campaign and the 2006 one is that we had consultants who knew what they were doing,” Fritz admits, which is a good admission, I suppose, though we’ll see, I guess whether they actually knew what they were doing, in about 14 or so minutes.

7:47 PM: Amanda Fritz mentions Blogtown, and how her consultants helped her answer the questions posed to her. Fuckin’ REPRESENT, yo.

7:48 PM: “Thank you so much, let’s wait for the results,” Fritz closes, and I realize that the promised “speech” that I raced across the river for—chugging the bottom half of a Mirror Pond and busting from Club 21 to NW so as not to miss the beginning of—was nothing more than a thank you to her supporters. GYAH. Goddamn bullshit. As soon as Fritz finishes, Springsteen’s “Born to Run” starts playing off a boom box (shit, from Reagan to Obama, is there a candidate for a public office who has ever NOT used a Springsteen song? ), and everybody mills around, waiting. Let the debauchery begin!

7:55 PM: Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer” kicks in, followed shortly by Kenny Loggins’ “(I Went to the) Danger Zone” theme from motherfucking Top Gun! I’ll update later if anything interesting happens from here, until then, I am off to ROCK.

UPDATE. Like 8:04 PM. The first numbers come up, and Fritz has something like 43 percent of the vote—a very strong start. “That’s kind of what I was hoping to see two years ago,” Fritz laughs, and her supporters cheer, and everyone’s happy, and I wish they’d turn the Loggins back on.