I’m the first person to admit that you can almost never judge a film’s quality by its trailer. Usually, previews are made by people who have absolutely nothing to do with the film itself—PR-savvy ad people who cut and stretch only the most marketable and simple elements of a film into a two-minute burst that’ll hopefully put asses in the seats on opening weekend. Judging a two-hour feature on the strength of its two-minute trailer is the equivalent of deciding if you like Spank Rock’s album YoYoYoYoYo based purely off of your impressions of, say, a salad dressing commercial.

Still, and all that said… it’s kind of perversely impressive how you can put Jet Li, Michelle Yeoh, Maria Bello, and the ABOMINABLE FUCKING SNOWMAN in a trailer and still have it come out looking like shit.

Thanks for nothing, Brendan Fraser. Also, I am STILL WAITING for Encino Man 2.