Um Ned, there are from 200 to 400 Billion stars in our (the Milky Way) galaxy alone and there are an estimated hundreds of billions of galaxies in the universe. So while your statement of "over a million" is technically correct, I thought it might be a good idea to bring you up to date on the current research.
" (incidentally, all of whom looked like Mr. Clean but had mohawks and pig noses) " are you referencing Space Quest? I sure hope so.
Some advice: you would be interesting, Ned, if you were more serious. You don't have the chops to pull off the cynical, witty, goofy writer-type. It's not your forte. You should stop trying, and focus on things you do better.
As it is here, you just come off as...well, kinda stupid.