Look, I love cats. I do. I have two of my own and I think they are amazing creatures. I talk to them, take pictures of them, cuddle with them. Oooh, sorry, that was starting to sound creepy. But no matter how creepy I get with my cats, I will never get as creepy as this:

Dancing with a tail of his own, Fred becomes a psychic extension of the cat. ‘I share its grace, power and oneness with the universe. I relate to Fluff and the whole spectrum of feline physicality on a profound level. I even regard birds differently.’”

Yes, this is from an actual book called Dancing With Cats.

I implore my friends and colleagues: If I ever get so bad off that I am stripping down, donning a cat tail g-string and dancing with my cat, take me to the vet and have them put me down. Or just send me to a nice farm out in the country…