Every week, you’ll find a Mercury placard on the front of our boxes advertising a story in the current issue. And while we’ve had popular placards in the past, none have been as popular as this one:

According to our circulation manager, Jay, almost every one of these popular placards have already mysteriously disappeared from our boxes. BUT IS IT REALLY SUCH A MYSTERY? I believe that this particular placard is already a hot collectible because it depicts a watershed moment in our state’s political history. Therefore proud Oregonians are obviously grabbing this placard for themselves, and framing it on their walls at home to share with their grandchildren and their grandchildren’s grandchildren.

But even though many of our boxes stand naked, there’s still time for YOU to get this historic collectible for your very own! Simply send five dollars to “HILLARY GETS HER ASS HANDED TO HER IN OREGON” c/o Wm. Steven Humphrey, Portland Mercury, 605 NE 21st Ave., Portland, 97232.

Act now and you’ll also receive, absolutely free, the highly collectible Mercury placard that pictures Urkel saying “Got any Cheeeeeeese?”

SO GET YOUR HILLARY PLACARD TODAY! Supplies are limited, and there probably won’t be any left when Hillary concedes (which should be in about four days).