Blogtown, PDX

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

SEX You Got a Steam Burn Where?

Posted by Patrick Coleman on Wed, May 21 at 3:14 PM

So, there’s this trend of putting busty breasted baristas in to bathing suits (I fucking love alliteration). There’s a couple of these places in Oregon (Milwaukie I think), but many are located among our neighbors to the north. Usually these gals work in those drive up jobbies. The idea is that you can get a caffeine fix and a chubby, all at the same time, without leaving your car! Why these things would go together is anyone’s guess, really.

Apparently, some local who lives in Whiny-ass-bitches Lake, Washington, where one of these half nekkid coffee stands is located, is all up in arms because her kid happened to look out her car window and see some flesh. So now she’s gotta ruin it for everyone. Ohhh, some-body’s gotta save the children, the poor children, for the love of god, think of the children, wah wah wah!!!

Puh-lease. A hottie in pasties ain’t gonna ruin little Johnnie.

Here’s the CNN clip for you! BTW take a look at how old this lady’s kids are! Like they haven’t discovered what happens on Cinemax after 10pm? C’mon!

“Seeing a barista in pasties… on a busy road… it’s just terrifying.”

No. You wanna know what’s terrifying? A steam burn on your nipples, which was probably why she was wearing pasties in the first place.

Also terrifying? Not being able to see a barista in a bikini. Shiver. Someone, please think of the children.

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Comments

I saw a sign on Fifth (across from Red Star/Hotel Monaco) that seemed to suggest such a place was opening downtown.

Posted by jason | May 21, 2008 3:19 PM

forget soy milk, i want some titty milk in my latte.

Posted by tom | May 21, 2008 3:31 PM

What a silly protest. Weren't drive-through Starbucks invented so that women like that have an alternative? Btw she's a hottie too, she just needs to ditch the hat, let down her hair and use some lip plumper. Besides, her adolescent kids are probably hacking onto the internet to look at youporn in the back seat.

Posted by Michelle | May 21, 2008 3:38 PM

Boobs are terrifying? Thank you, and everyone like you, for keeping America so uptight that we can still get paid to show them.

Posted by Susan | May 21, 2008 6:29 PM

BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Posted by gmafb | May 22, 2008 8:14 AM

Starbucks is now providing handjobs for every Vente Latte they serve.

Posted by starjob | May 22, 2008 8:15 AM

"busty breasted"=redundancy.

learn to write proper english, patrick.

Posted by james | May 22, 2008 10:08 PM

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