• Well, that was quick: GOP releases their first sleaze ad against Barack Obama, accusing him of being a Muslim that can’t be trusted.

• Gas prices are expected to stay above the $4 mark well into next year. Did we mention it’s our “Bike Issue” this week?

• One bicyclist was killed and another injured in the first two days of Chicago’s “Bike to Work” week. There’s no such thing as bad publicity, right?

• First Patrick Swayze, now actor Paul Newman is reported to have cancer.

• President Bush warns Iran to cut that nuclear shit out; Iran responds by saying, “Aren’t lame duck presidents cute when they get angry?”

• Snowstorms in Oregon… TODAY. In JUNE. (May I speak for everyone when I say, “Give us an effing BREAK, already!”)

• And don’t forget, you still have time to vote in our Mercury poll: Who would you rather tongue wrestle… young John Cusack or Shia “The Beef” LaBeouf?

• And finally, a news anchor accidentally reports that his co-anchor was murdered and set on fire. Well, that’s one way to eliminate the competition. (HEY, DISGRUNTLED LOCAL NEWS STATION EMPLOYEES! Send me your station’s embarrassing bloopers! steve@portlandmercury.com)