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Thursday, June 19, 2008
News Good Morning, News!
Posted by on Thu, Jun 19 at 9:08 AM
• Barack Obama opts out of the federal campaign public financing system, since… well… the public is already happily financing him, right?
• If elected, John McCain vows to build 45 nuclear reactors by 2030 (presumably to provide power, rather than blow the shit out of the middle east).
• Suffering from devastating floods, residents of Iowa welcome President Bush, who—surprise—left his disaster relief checkbook back at the White House.
• A Gladstone, Oregon teen dies because his stupid family belonged to a stupid “faith-healing” religion that denied him medical treatment. Oh, and this is just a few months after the teen’s TODDLER COUSIN also died after being refused treatment for a curable disease. Can we all agree now that prayer DOESN’T work?
• A sixth human foot (not attached to anything) was found on a British Columbia beach, confounding police. Okay, I see Al Pacino as the disgraced cop assigned to the case, with Katherine Heigl as the scrappy forensic scientist/love interest, and … we need an ethnic comic sidekick. Is Chris Tucker available?
• According to Us magazine, Jamie Lynn Spears (the 17-year-old sis to Britney) has given birth to her first bouncing baby hillbilly. (Only 27 more to go, Jamie!)
• Oh, and congratulations also go out to Tori Spelling who had a baby last week as well.
Looks just like her.
Comments
Tori no!!
There was a time when Tori's body mods were limited to a bit of blush dabbed innocently in her cleavage (and what girl hasn't done that?), to help accentuate her curves so that she could better stand up with Kelly and Brenda. But now she looks like she's mainlining collagen.
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Once again it's those "Followers of Christ" idiots out in Oregon City and their dying kids.
Maybe God's trying tell you dumbasses something by killing off your kids. Hmmm maybe seek medical attention?