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Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Film Learn More About the Stars of Tails of Abbygail!
Posted by on Tue, Jun 24 at 9:58 AM
Our Unpaid Intern’s excellent post about local children’s film The Tails of Abbygail has been getting a ton of attention (read the whole thing—and the amazing comments—right here).
As the Mercury’s film editor (and the callous bastard who forced Unpaid Intern drive out to Sandy for a 9 am film screening, not to mention watch Abbygail), I strive to give people what they want—and in this case, what they want is more Abbygail!
Well, I’ve got it: On Abbygail’s official site, I found these posters for sale. (A mere $4 each! or $25 for all seven!) Here are our personal favorites (i.e., the ones that myself, Ezra, and Chrstine will be buying to decorate our office with), accompanied by the official descriptions of the dogs, which I swear to holy christ are actually real. We did not make these up. Not even the one about Champ. Or the one about Zane.
Pirate Dog. A cute Shitzu/Poo mix. Loves playing with the cats. Hates wearing clothes, but likes his patch. Not fond of swimming.
Girlfriend. A beautiful Bernese Mountain Dog. Always “happy go lucky”. Loves holding your hand on walks to the barn. She LOVES playing with Champ!
Champ. A large Golden Retriever. Loves to stare into your eyes while being petted. He groans like a bear. He’s VERY loyal.
Zane. The Majestic Percheron Draft. 12 years old. Weighs in at just under a TON. Hooves the size of dinner plates! Loves being ridden bareback.
And no: I have no idea why there these animals are accompanied by miniature versions of themselves in these posters. (But there are clues!) All I know is Mini-Zane up there? Fucking freaks my shit out. More posters here.
Comments
Quit letting your intern smoke crack and beating her with pork logs. She is obviously an awful influence!!!
At least that's what GirlFriend503 told me on the AbbyTailsFanForumz...
My pregnant wife and I have seen this movie at least 3000 times. She's still carrying our first child and our little gift from the Lord can't get enogh of this movie, in fact were watching it now and have purchased multiple copies of these posters. I can't believe you heartless porno pervayrers want to kill puppies! Go back to your live sex acts and maryjuana sicko devil pawns!!!!
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Leave to a godless sex-obsessed pervert childless shit-rag like the Mercury to pick on a helpless series of posters! It's for the CHILDREN, she did it for the CHILDREN, the CHILDREN, she has the biggest HEART in the world and you guys are mean and my KIDS love this movie like a Beaverton houswife loves a nonsensical run-on blog comment!