Oh, suuuurrrre. Everybody loves to talk about how neato awesome Portland is. And I will happily agree… as long as you can point me to the nearest local water slide. OH, THAT'S RIGHT… METRO PORTLAND DOESN'T HAVE ANY WATER SLIDES. (Hey Sam Adams! The green boxes are nice. Where the EFF is my effing WATER SLIDE?!?)

Anyhoo, here is the most incredible water slide in the world, and SURPRISE! It's not in Portland. This AquaLOOP Water Slide is located in Germany—probably because they have no human rights laws. BUT CHECK IT OUT!! You step onto a trap door, get dropped into a near vertical free-fall before shooting through a loop and then crapped out of the end. Watch for yourself, and tell me this isn't the Auschwitz of all water slides!

Tip o' the hat to Random Good Stuff!