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Wednesday, July 2, 2008

News Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Jul 2, 2008 at 8:41 AM

The Iran foreign minister has dismissed the idea of an attack from the United States, leading President Bush to say, "Heyyyy... then how are we supposed to make you do what we want?"

As Sarah reported yesterday, Starbucks will be closing 600 of their shops -- which is about half of their Pearl District locations, right?

Angelina Jolie's obstetrician is calling a special press conference today, probably to announce, "Hey! I'm Angelina Jolie's obstetrician! Woo-hoo!"

U.S. advisers have been instructing the Mexican police in torture techniques. At least Mexico knows what we're good at.

Fred Myer and QFC recall ground beef because of safety concerns (for humans, that is... not cows).

Guys! We cannot let Barack Obama win this election! Otherwise... STEPHEN BALDWIN MAY LEAVE THE COUNTRY!!

 

Commenting was not available when this article was originally published.

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1
"We cannot let Barack Obama win this election! Otherwise... STEPHEN BALDWIN MAY LEAVE THE COUNTRY!!"
If that doesn't turn undecided voters to Obama supporters, I don't know what will
Posted by Beer Batter on July 2, 2008 at 9:42 AM · Report
2
I love how Faux news doesn't see the irony in asking Stephen Baldwin why people care about what celebrities think. Maybe they don't consider him a celebrity.
Posted by Greg on July 2, 2008 at 11:23 AM · Report
3
Calling McCain's presidency 4 more years of Bush is the most stupidest thing I've ever heard....uhhhhhh....most stupidest? Tom Selleck supports McCain though so I just switched my vote. I kinda want him to give me a mustache ride.
Posted by Michael on July 2, 2008 at 4:51 PM · Report

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