This Week in the Mercury

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 9:30 AM

The Obama campaign raised $52 million in June -- more than twice the McCain campaign. Finally, the Democrats can buy their own election! (My advice? Start with the voting machines.)

Evangelical Christians apparently aren't hearing what they want to hear from McCain. That's because even McCain refuses to picket abortion clinics, thrash around on the ground, speak in tongues, and handle snakes.

Jesse Jackson apologizes AGAIN to the world and the Obama campaign; this time for using the "n-word."
That of course, is bad enough... but he made the white girl on The View cry!

And speaking of casual racism, it's usually not a good idea to walk around NYC wearing a shirt that says, "Obama is my Slave." (She really paid $69 for that?!?)

Americans fail again when it comes to tests regarding health care quality. Well, excuse me, but I was too busy stuffing my face with Pizza Hut's new Pizone to study!

And finally, protest all you want about the upcoming Olympics in China... but their opening ceremony fireworks are going to KICK ASS.


Comments (2)

Showing 1-2 of 2

Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-2 of 2

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy