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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Bikes Sexy Bike!

Posted by Sarah Mirk on Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 2:42 PM

Every week, the Mercury scours the streets to bring you photos of a sexy bike and a mini-interview with its bound-to-be-a-baller rider. I caught Luke doing donuts in a basement art gallery and on his rusty vintage low-rider, Luke proves sexy is all about attitude.

This week: Scraper Bikes are Sexy

Rider: Luke Forsyth
Bike:: Vintage brick-red Westfield frame with black banana seat
Spotted at: The Pancake Clubhouse art collective

low_rider.jpg

westfield.jpg

gangsta.jpg

This bike is really rusty and the paint's all scratched. Why are you so sure ladies are going to love this bicycle? Because scraper bikes are fly. I'd say they're drawn to the lowness, it's stylin' to be low to the ground. Some kids are playing on Huffys and stuff, but I think it's all about the old-school banana seats.

What's the appeal of the low? Pretty much the ability to get down.

How is your life different when you ride this bicycle? I feel better about myself, I'm healthier. Chicks dig it.

Are you ever afraid it's going to fall apart? Never, it's trusty. It just sucks to bike really fast on it.

How does the world look different from a low rider? It's a little bit slower. It's harder to make turns. You have to anticipate them by putting your weight into the turns, if you're going to do sweet big turns, you know?

What kind of people do you find ride scrapers? Gangstas. Exclusively gangstas. Hey, you have to write down that I wrote a song on the way home.

You did? Can you sing it?
It goes, "Scraper bikes are sexy, beers'll get 'em chicks. Yeah. Scraper bikes are sexy, beers'll get 'em chicks."

(Nominate a sexy bike: Email Sarah Mirk.)

 

Commenting was not available when this article was originally published.

Comments (19) RSS

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1
Oh come on, Ms. Mirk. You surely didn't get dishpan hands "scouring" the streets of Portland, only to offer this cocked-hat wearing, PBR can clutching, rusted out piece of shit bike I wouldn't have been caught dead on when I was 7 owning buffoon to the loyal readers of the rapidly declining "Sexy Bike".

This feature has now totally become, as one earlier poster put it, "unintentionally hilarious".

Please don't disappoint next week.

Or at the very least, please feature another cute chick.

Or how about, get this, an actually sexy adult with a cool bike.

Too much to ask?
Posted by jake on July 23, 2008 at 3:04 PM · Report
2
dumbest one yet...I would not hesitate to kick this man in the face if he tried to talk to me.
Posted by Lobster on July 23, 2008 at 3:17 PM · Report
3
"an actually sexy adult with a cool bike."

yes please!
Posted by Alison Hallett on July 23, 2008 at 3:42 PM · Report
4
Hubby took the seat off my mountain bike as an April Fool's joke. And now I ride everywhere with a big smile on my face. Thanks, hubby!
Posted by Polly Anna Purphect on July 23, 2008 at 3:48 PM · Report
5
this is totally unintentionally hilarious
Posted by emilythehaikubot on July 23, 2008 at 3:49 PM · Report
6
Who the hell says "Fly" these days?!?
Posted by Freshmaker on July 23, 2008 at 3:58 PM · Report
7
Oh, Sara Mirk. Don't sully all your other high-quality Merc work with this cliche-worshipping, drivelicious feature. Stick to the hard news, cuz you're darn good at it.
Posted by s.mirking on July 23, 2008 at 4:22 PM · Report
8
Potentially funny. Next!
Posted by Int'l. Assoc. of Satirists on July 23, 2008 at 4:58 PM · Report
9
After we're done with Sexy Bike can we have Sexy Feet?

Because I walk and, well, I like my feet.
Posted by kiala on July 23, 2008 at 5:16 PM · Report
10
The cyclist himself looks rather sexy, in a callow, overgrown adolescent sort of way.
Posted by Ed on July 23, 2008 at 8:39 PM · Report
11
that guy is a caricature of himself.
Posted by doug on July 23, 2008 at 11:33 PM · Report
12
Just another disguting "hipster" dirtbag that probably lives like a rat with 20 other disgusting "hipsters" in a rental in inner SE.
Posted by PBR drinkers are a JOKE! on July 24, 2008 at 12:03 AM · Report
13
Ha! Amusing person on an amusing bike. I think this is a good one. It's good when the person being profiled is not totally boring.
(although at the beginning I misinterpreted the "Luke proves..." sentence to imply that his outer ugliness is more than made up for by his attitude.)

And cool people say fly these days, freshmaker. duh.
Reading the comments on this site really drags me down.
Posted by ROM on July 24, 2008 at 1:07 AM · Report
14
fail.
Posted by roflcopter on July 24, 2008 at 1:24 AM · Report
15
more context on scraper bikes: http://youtube.com/watch?v=hQGLNPJ9VCE

this is uncontestably the most retarded blogtown post ever. i feel dumber.
Posted by dreww on July 24, 2008 at 3:36 AM · Report
16
That is not a scraper bike.
Posted by Rex on July 24, 2008 at 6:54 AM · Report
17
The bikenazi is going to have a field day with this post!
Posted by gawd on July 24, 2008 at 9:25 AM · Report
18
The bike is okay I guess, kinda small for an adult, but that hat is about the douchiest hat ever!
Posted by Beer Batter on July 24, 2008 at 4:45 PM · Report
19
It's a boy's bike, not a ladies bike.
And it's a rusty old bike at that. It looks like he found it in a garbage dumpster, I don't see any custom work.
Posted by AviationMetalSmith on July 28, 2008 at 9:19 AM · Report

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