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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

What About My Marble of Love?

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 3:09 PM

As regular readers of Blogtown already know, I am one of the Mercury's strongest proponents for maintaining a healthy prostate gland. After suffering a frightening and gory prostate incident in my youth -- WHICH I WILL RELATE TO YOU IF THERE'S ENOUGH INTEREST IN THE COMMENTS SECTION -- I now happily undergo regular prostate exams, with a little help from the gentle finger of my general physician.

And since I am such a fan of "the marble of love," you can imagine my excitement when I received an email telling of this weekend's DRIVE AGAINST PROSTATE CANCER, which involves (get this!) "a sleek 39-foot Airstream mobile screening unit, touring the country to offer FREE prostate cancer screenings."

Naturally, I was all like, "Oh, Hell to the Yeah! Where do I sign up?" HOWEVER. I was wildly displeased to see that the Prostate Winnebago wasn't even stopping in Portland! If I want a free finger up my bum, I'm going to have to drive all the way to Salem! (Yes, I know... I can get a free finger up my bum at the IHOP bathroom on 82nd Avenue... but I'm talking LEGITIMATE PROSTATE EXAMS here!)

Do these people think that the men of Portland are bereft of prostates? BECAUSE WE'RE NOT. And I will happily show them proof, any day of the week. ANYWAY. If you're interested in a quick poke to ensure you don't have cancer, and you're going to be in the Salem area this weekend, I would still highly recommend it. (And if you do, please take a picture of inside the Prostate Winnebago, so I can blog it.) Here are the deets:

Saturday & Sunday, July 26 & 27, 9 am - 4 pm, 3995 Brooklake Rd NE, Salem, OR. It's confidential, and NO APPOINTMENT IS NECESSARY.

"Toot! Toot! Open up, the Prostate Winnebago is coming in!"

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