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Friday, July 25, 2008

Bikes Sexy Trike!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Fri, Jul 25, 2008 at 2:02 PM

Every week, the Mercury scours the city for the SEXIEST tricycle we can find, take photos of it, and then interview the rider. Today I caught 4-year-old Morgan Marie tooling around her driveway and asked her what makes for a sexy, sexy trike.

This Week: Nothing's Sexier than the Classics.

Rider: Morgan Marie Jeffries
Trike: Classic fire engine red Radio Flyer with chrome handles and a double deck in the rear.
Spotted at: Ladd's Addition

99hjpqr.jpg

Yo, what's up? Hey, that is one sweet trike.
Thank you.

Where did you get it?
Santa.

Awesome. Santa is really cool. What do you like most about riding a tricycle?
(Shrugs.)

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Do you ever...
I LIKE CINDERELLA!

Whoa... okay. Yeah, that's cool, too, I guess. So, that tricycle is a fixie, right?
I like Cinderella, I like Belle, I like Ariel, I like purple and pink.


Right. So, what's the sexiest thing about riding a tricycle?
MOMMY!!

Okay, thanks, gotta go. Cool trike.

(Have you seen a sexy trike? Email me!)

 

Commenting was not available when this article was originally published.

Comments (24) RSS

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1
Can we PLEASE get an actual sexy trike with an actual sexy rider? WORST BLOG POST EVER!
Posted by Wm. Steven Humphrey on July 25, 2008 at 2:43 PM · Report
2
The cyclist herself looks rather sexy, in a callow, overgrown adolescent sort of way.
Posted by s.mirk on July 25, 2008 at 2:44 PM · Report
3
Pssht! Another fixie rider who believes in Santa? What a caricature.
Posted by Wm. Steven Humphrey on July 25, 2008 at 2:44 PM · Report
4
where's absolute horse shit guy when you need him?
Posted by miguelaron on July 25, 2008 at 2:45 PM · Report
5
This is unintentionally hilarious.
Posted by Can You Find an Actually Sexy Trike? on July 25, 2008 at 2:47 PM · Report
6
This is intentionally and hilariously unintentional hilarity.
Posted by Wm. Steven Humphrey on July 25, 2008 at 2:48 PM · Report
7
For fucks sake you infant hipster wannabe... riding your fixie trike to the playground to hang out with all your jaded bro's and talk about "Cindarella" is sooo over-played. Get a fucking life already. Grow up!
Posted by Sonny Malone on July 25, 2008 at 2:49 PM · Report
8
And drinking Kool-Aid Jammers? PUH-LEEZE. I hope she gets cancer and dies.
Posted by Wm. Steven Humphrey on July 25, 2008 at 2:56 PM · Report
9
Cancer.

Not funny.

NEXT!
Posted by Wm. Steven Humphrey on July 25, 2008 at 2:57 PM · Report
10
ok ok, this is ABSOLUTE Horse Shit!! If you want sexy you have got to go BIG WHEEL! You can't rip a good skid on a trike. Ain't gonna happen. You'll roll it. Just stop with this Horse Shit and get us a damn BIG wheel! ..or better yet make it a Green Machine! Now those are sexy. TRUTH!
Posted by Absolute Horse Shit Guy on July 25, 2008 at 3:04 PM · Report
11
I miss Cat Friday.
Posted by Alison Hallett on July 25, 2008 at 3:10 PM · Report
12
The Kool-Aid juicebox is probably not vegan.
Posted by LawyerPepper on July 25, 2008 at 3:12 PM · Report
13
That girl is a caricature of herself...
Posted by Ann on July 25, 2008 at 3:16 PM · Report
14
Hey, Steve, WRITE A REAL STORY. This is, like, totally unintentionally hilarious.
Posted by Matt Davis on July 25, 2008 at 3:21 PM · Report
15
Also: AIDS IS NOT FUNNY.
Posted by Matt Davis on July 25, 2008 at 3:22 PM · Report
16

BUT AIDS IS FUNNY MATT
Posted by Nick "muggins" Olmstead on July 25, 2008 at 3:26 PM · Report
17
Pedalphile.
Posted by gabriel amadeus on July 25, 2008 at 3:46 PM · Report
18
I suppose that chick is sexy enough if you're into that sort of thing (not my cuppa). But I'm sorry that outfit is a total disaster! It's like a watermelon exploded in a necco wafer factory. Pink and green? Ugh! SO 2003!
Posted by Beer Batter on July 25, 2008 at 4:18 PM · Report
19
she's not a hipster. no u-lock in her back pocket, no pabst.
Posted by miguelaron on July 25, 2008 at 4:23 PM · Report
20
This is my favorite.
Posted by kiala on July 25, 2008 at 5:43 PM · Report
21
Ahh, now I get it! Sexy Bike was just a satire all along. You all sure are clever.

Nice try.
Posted by jake on July 25, 2008 at 5:45 PM · Report
22
WOW, the Mercury again shows how pathetic it really is...trying to attract pedophiles to review their posts. The Mercury is worthless and only attracts people who cannot think for themselves. The Mercury should be ashamed..."sexiest tricycle" WTF???
Posted by copwatch watcher on July 25, 2008 at 9:47 PM · Report
23
popiggies po-po popiggies etcetera
Posted by Matt Davis on July 26, 2008 at 5:38 PM · Report
24
Even a crusty old salt such as I have a soft spot for a two year old on a stiffy.

Oh, I say, that could be misconstrued, what! Disregard my comment, and Wilberforce, what ever you do DO NOT click on preview comment.

Oh I say, Wilberforce, did you click preview in revenge for me outing you? Well, you had it coming, you know. Not at all the polite thing to do when employed as village priest. Village idiot like that bloke, Jacomus, yes, but not the village priest.

Not in the slightest funny.

Next!
Posted by Int'l. Assoc. of Satirists on July 26, 2008 at 5:47 PM · Report

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