This Week in the Mercury
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Bikes What With the War Going On...
Posted by Amy J. Ruiz on Tue, Jul 29, 2008 at 10:50 AM
My goal for the last week has been to get fellow cyclists to adopt that headline, and use it whenever people ask how they're doing. As in, "busy, what with the war going on..."
I mean, there are just so many motorists to flip off, and windshields to smash, and red lights to run. It's tough work, fighting a bike-car war! And with a national spotlight from the likes of Newsweek, we can't retreat yet.
Commenting was not available when this article was originally published.
1
My favorite piece of bike-related phraseology is adapted from a Paul Beatty novel I've been reading. It involves both sides of the argument prefacing their remarks with a new form of pronoun, known as "the Jesus." As in:
Biker: "Jesus told me to tell you I'm right."
Car Driver: "Jesus told me to tell YOU to stick it."
Biker: "Jesus told me to tell you I'm right."
Car Driver: "Jesus told me to tell YOU to stick it."
3
That newsweek article was even worse than the shit the oregonian put on the front page. Sensational, stereotypical, and hardly representative of what's actually happening here in Portland. Sounds like they've been reading too many Oregonians.
4
Well, well, well. What have we here?
I dated a woman who looked remarkably like horse feces guy. Amazing likeness.
But, say, ambrown, howzabout a date?
I know there's a war going on, but Jesus told to ask. Sorry, Matt, you're not my type.
I dated a woman who looked remarkably like horse feces guy. Amazing likeness.
But, say, ambrown, howzabout a date?
I know there's a war going on, but Jesus told to ask. Sorry, Matt, you're not my type.
5
I can't help to ask, "what's actually happening here in Portland"? Is it just a bunch of spoiled rotten self important asshats whining about like they aren't actually FULL of Shit? No one, on either side, seems to want to "actually" take RESPONSIBILITY for their own actions. A lot of hoof pointing and Horse Shittery if you want to know the truth. Ride your bike, be careful. Drive your car, be careful. Shit will happen no matter what. Enough with the Horse Hockey already. Let's get back to work and then grab a beer later.
6
As a jogging commuter (only one way...home), I'm at odds as to which team to join. Cars or bikes. I've yelled at my fair share of cell phone talking inattentive asshole drivers (most of whom don't realize that sidewalks ARE NOT, in fact, one way only), but it's the close calls with bikers unapologetically burning red lights and stop signs that really burn me. I expect it from car people, so getting near-hit by asshole cyclists digs even deeper.
I'm fully expecting to be hit on one of my daily p.m. jog-commutes. I guess I'll join whatever team doesn't hit me first.
I'm fully expecting to be hit on one of my daily p.m. jog-commutes. I guess I'll join whatever team doesn't hit me first.
8
I hate this kind of writing so much:
"An escalating war between two-wheelers and four-wheelers, brought on by sky-high gas prices?"
The next half of the article contains a fair amount of actual data that obviously refutes such a ridiculous idea, but, of course, they had to throw that sensational question out there first (as well as claiming that there's a "new kind of road rage").
ARE GIANT INSECT OVERLOARDS FROM SPACE COMING TO ENSLAVE US ALL IN THE NEAR FUTURE?
Latest study by NASA shows this outcome is unlikely.
"An escalating war between two-wheelers and four-wheelers, brought on by sky-high gas prices?"
The next half of the article contains a fair amount of actual data that obviously refutes such a ridiculous idea, but, of course, they had to throw that sensational question out there first (as well as claiming that there's a "new kind of road rage").
ARE GIANT INSECT OVERLOARDS FROM SPACE COMING TO ENSLAVE US ALL IN THE NEAR FUTURE?
Latest study by NASA shows this outcome is unlikely.
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