This Week in the Mercury

Learning Curves and Rhyming Giants

Music

Learning Curves and Rhyming Giants

The Who, Where, When, and Why of What Hearts


Geek Out

Film

Geek Out

Wonderfully Horrific



  |  

Thursday, July 31, 2008

News Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Jul 31, 2008 at 9:14 AM

The country has not experienced the economic rebound the government expected after sending out those tax rebate checks. So... I guess they'd better send out some more economic stimulus checks, then!

After six years of war, violence in Iraq has dropped to the point where Bush can finally proclaim, "There is a degree of durability in gains." That's the new code for "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!"

Polls say that Californians are supporting a new ballot measure that would get egg-laying hens out of those tiny wire cages -- but according to opponents could drive egg producers out of business. Hey, if chickens can play tic-tac-toe, then I say let 'em vote.

"I now pronounce you man and waaahh-nnnnggggghhhh!" Newlyweds are tasered by cops on their wedding night -- and no, they weren't being kinky!

In a truly unsurprising move, Portland bicyclists really, really hate the idea of a mandatory helmet law. Airbags might be fun, though.

In last night's episode, Portland's own Leanne Marshall came roaring back after last week's near dismissal from Project Runway! How'd she do it? Check out "Marjorie Skinner's Runway Wrap-Up" later today! (And by the way, I am so fucking glad that Runway designer BLAYNE is from Seattle and not here.)

IMGONNAEATYOUweb.jpg

 

Commenting was not available when this article was originally published.

Comments (4) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Wm.TM:

in re: our economic recovery stimulus checks sent out by the federal government have had the biggest effect on --

"An independent market-research firm, AIMRCo (Adult Internet Market Research Company), has discovered that many websites focused on adult or erotic material have experienced an upswing in sales in the recent weeks since checks have appeared in millions of Americans’ mailboxes across the country.

According to Kirk Mishkin, Head Research Consultant for AIMRCo, 'Many of the sites we surveyed have reported 20-30% growth in membership rates since mid-May when the checks were first sent out, and typically the summer is a slow period for this market.'"

I remain your humble servant,

Jacomus
Posted by Jacomus d'Paganus-Fatuus on July 31, 2008 at 10:10 AM · Report
2
blaine said he was really into tanning
Posted by miguelaron on July 31, 2008 at 10:15 AM · Report
3
@jacomus: Well, it only makes sense. In the past few months I've seen more than a couple of articles mentioning how "gentlemen's clubs" were hard hit during the recent economic woes, and that mistresses were one of the first expendable expenses to be cut.
Posted by tk. on July 31, 2008 at 12:29 PM · Report
4
t.k.,

Pater always says a gentleman never cheats on his barber, his mistress and his wife.

In that order.

I remain, etc.,

Jacomus the lonely
Posted by Jacomus d'Paganus-Fatuus on July 31, 2008 at 1:35 PM · Report

Add a comment

Our Friends

Our Enemies

/images/adoftheweek.gif

ad of the day

The Handyman Pro - Your Honey-Do Specialist
Don’t let our name fool you. The Handyman Pro, LLC is a repair and remodel service provider with over 25-years experience. We cover all aspects of construction and repairs for residential and commercial clients.go


post an ad

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use