This week's film: The Beach starring Leonardo Dicaprio as a world-adventurer/shark hunter/crazy jungle dweller.

A brief description: Leo inherits a map from a suicidal man to a beautiful, secret beach and community tucked away in one of the many islands around Thailand. He is accompanied by some French people, one whom he falls for, and they eventually get it on at the beach. Shit happens, like some of the community members get attacked by sharks and their food supply goes bad, so Leo has to go to dry land with the leader, have sex with her too, and then gets ostracized. Plus, there are gun-toting weed growers the next field over. And everyone wants a piece of this beach.

I know, not that trashy, especially considering it was directed by Danny Boyle (hello! 28 Days Later, Trainspotting, and Sunshine), who I fucking love, and it has amazing scenery. But the acting is lame and the plot even lamer.