BIKES VS.CHINA!!! The U.S bike team shows up for the Olympics wearing black face masks. "I don't believe there was any statement trying to be made," says Andrea Smith, spokeswoman big fat liar for USA cycling.
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MADONNA'S PLASTIC FACE!!! Via Defamer comes a fascinating feature in New York about the new trend among A-listers to pump their faces up with fat, instead of shrinking and lifting. Madonna has the "new face." Meg Ryan has the "old face." And the feature is five pages long...save it for lunch!

OLYMPIC TERROR ALERT!!! 16 cops killed by separatists in the Xinjiang province.

GOP DROP!!! The G.O.P is dropping its numbers of registered voters across the country, while the Democrats are on the rise.

EXTRA BACON!!! The Sun tracks down a five-legged piglet.

DEVELOPERS SCREW THE POOR!!! Sarah Mirk actually deciphers something written by Gary Blackmer, and it turns out to be IMPORTANT. "This should not be happening," she writes. I concur.

Good day.