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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

News Good Morning, News!!

Posted by Matt Davis on Tue, Aug 12, 2008 at 8:31 AM

HUMAN DOLPHIN!!! Michael Phelps wins his 9th Olympic gold.

BURGER BATH!!! Burger King employees in Ohio get fired after one of them takes a bath in the store's sink.

burgerkingbath.jpg


HOME NEUTERING!!! A man in Des Moines is arrested after trying to cut his dog, Pooper's, balls off with a razor blade.

FAUXLYMPICS!!! The Chinese artificially enhanced 55 seconds of fireworks footage during the opening ceremony. They also lip-synched a 9-year-old's national anthem because the real singer had crooked teeth.

CHIP'N'CHEERFUL!!! A British couple is forced to order 50 portions of fish and chips at their wedding, after caterer goes AWOL. Guess which newspaper has the scoop.

And with all that I almost forgot, there's still a war on in Georgia.

Good day.

 

Commenting was not available when this article was originally published.

Comments (4) RSS

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1
For those wishing to experience Mr. Unstable's bathing antics, his MySpace video page can be found here:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=40242463
Posted by Bob R. on August 12, 2008 at 9:28 AM · Report
2
thanks a lot, asshole. How about a spoiler alert or something. Jesus.
Posted by olympicsfan on August 12, 2008 at 10:04 AM · Report
3
And for this I came to work?
Posted by Int'l. Assoc. of Satirists on August 12, 2008 at 10:30 AM · Report
4
Ex-cellent!
Posted by Monty on August 12, 2008 at 2:17 PM · Report

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