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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Sep 10, 2008 at 9:15 AM

Barack Obama accuses the McCain camp of "lies and phony outrage" after they accused him of saying a sexist comment about Sarah Palin. Wow, pretty soon the Republicans will be leading "Intro to Feminism" seminars.

Remember when Sarah Palin was bragging about selling her "luxury jet on eBay" when she was governor? Just a bit of an exaggeration there!

North Korean dictator and stroke victim Kim Jong Il is somewhat less illin' today. (Sorry.)

A Philadelphia nutbag on a subway attacked a sleeping man with a hammer -- and you guessed it -- no one did anything to help.

A new study reports that the Twin Towers fell because "at high temperatures, tiny irregularities in a steel's structure can disrupt its internal magnetic fields, making the rigid metal soft." So, there you go, 9/11 conspiracy wackos! It really was an "inside job!"

Scientists celebrate the successful launch of their particle smashing machine -- but where's this "new universe" you keep bragging about, nerds? (That's NOT gonna get you laid.)

A judge in Lancaster, Kentucky sent a girl to jail for wearing "Daisy Dukes" to court. And yes, the following hilarious news report is 100% real!

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