This Week in the Mercury
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
News Good Morning, News!
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Oct 1, 2008 at 9:10 AM
Congress is feeling much more optimistic about Wall Street Bailout Plan 2.0 (errr... sorry... rescue plan), and even John McCain is calling the bill an improvement. Thank you, old-useless-candidate-who-helped-fuck-things-up-in-the-first-place!
Obama now leads McCain in key battleground states Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Are the dumb people finally seeing the light?
In an interview on NPR, John McCain said he "routinely turns to Sarah Palin for foreign policy advice." Ha. Ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha-HAW-HAW-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!
A pro-Iraq war organization is offering college frat boys hundreds of dollars to protest the V.P. debate. Omigod... that explains so much!
Tomorrow night's debate between Sarah "I'm Ignorant but Cute" Palin and Joe "Did I Say That?" Biden is sure to be a gaffe-a-thon, so don't miss it! And be sure to join the Mercury to watch the debates at either of two locations: The Clinton Street Theater at 2522 SE Clinton (where you can watch it with beer, on the big screen, and in high definition), or Roots Organic Brewing (1520 SE 7th)! 5:30 pm... BE THERE!
Hey dudes! The Chinese Olympic gymnasts have been ruled "old enough"! WHOOO! Up high!
Blazer Greg Oden rolls ankle during practice; Blazers demand a $700 billion bailout.
Finally, after you withdraw all your money from the bank in a panic, wouldn't it be nice to finally find a bank you KNOW you can trust? Friends, meet THE PERSONAL BANK.
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