This Week in the Mercury

Buster Keaton and Time-Traveling Hipsters

Film

Buster Keaton and Time-Traveling Hipsters

Making a Little Time for Oscar-Nominated Shorts


I, Anonymous

Columns

I, Anonymous

Breeder on Board



Thursday, October 2, 2008

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Oct 2, 2008 at 9:08 AM

As the sweetened bailout bill prepares to go before Congress tomorrow, President Bush is offering free cheeseburgers and blowjobs to anyone who will vote for it.

The coked up crybabies on Wall Street freaked out AGAIN today; the Dow drops another 200.

According to an AP poll, Barack Obama has taken a seven-point lead over John McCain. However McCain still leads Obama with the key "clearly insane deaf and blind people" demographic.

John McCain tells the Des Moines Register that he always tells "100 percent absolute truth." You know... for some weird reason, I just don't believe him.

A Southern California commuter train engineer sent a text message 22 seconds before his train crashed head on into a freight train, killing 25 people. The text message said, "Look, Ma! No Hands!" (Ouch. Sorry about that one.)

AND DON'T FORGET!! Watch the Biden-Palin debate tonight at 5:30 pm at either the Clinton Street Theater (on the big screen in high def), or at Roots Organic Brewery (1520 SE 7th)! It's FREE and it's gonna be a goddamn hoot! Until then, here's David Letterman's Top 10 Things Overheard at Sarah Palin's Debate Camp.

 

Comments (2) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Prices for Clinton St. admittance? If it's not listed I assume it's free.
Posted by ragold on October 2, 2008 at 10:07 AM · Report
2
This holiday in fiji accidentally with john mccain is a good read: http://myblogthebword.blogspot.com/2008/09/my-holiday-with-john-mccain-it-was-just.html
Posted by ROM on October 2, 2008 at 11:51 AM · Report

Add a comment

/images/adoftheweek.gif

ad of the day

The Handyman Pro - Your Honey-Do Specialist
Don’t let our name fool you. The Handyman Pro, LLC is a repair and remodel service provider with over 25-years experience. We cover all aspects of construction and repairs for residential and commercial clients.go


post an ad

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use