This Week in the Mercury
Thursday, October 2, 2008
News Good Morning, News!
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Oct 2, 2008 at 9:08 AM
As the sweetened bailout bill prepares to go before Congress tomorrow, President Bush is offering free cheeseburgers and blowjobs to anyone who will vote for it.
The coked up crybabies on Wall Street freaked out AGAIN today; the Dow drops another 200.
According to an AP poll, Barack Obama has taken a seven-point lead over John McCain. However McCain still leads Obama with the key "clearly insane deaf and blind people" demographic.
John McCain tells the Des Moines Register that he always tells "100 percent absolute truth." You know... for some weird reason, I just don't believe him.
A Southern California commuter train engineer sent a text message 22 seconds before his train crashed head on into a freight train, killing 25 people. The text message said, "Look, Ma! No Hands!" (Ouch. Sorry about that one.)
AND DON'T FORGET!! Watch the Biden-Palin debate tonight at 5:30 pm at either the Clinton Street Theater (on the big screen in high def), or at Roots Organic Brewery (1520 SE 7th)! It's FREE and it's gonna be a goddamn hoot! Until then, here's David Letterman's Top 10 Things Overheard at Sarah Palin's Debate Camp.
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