This Week in the Mercury
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Drunk I'll Give You Something to Cry About, Crybabies! (Part 1 in a Continuing Series)
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Oct 9, 2008 at 4:08 PM
Okay, SNAP OUT OF IT ALREADY. Enough blubbering and boo-hooing over the rain and the Dow crashing a kazillion points, and how this economic crisis is finally going to force you to get a job. In my new series "I'll Give You Something to Cry About, Crybabies" I will be giving you something to cry about, crybabies! Like for example this video of a young James Earl Jones reading the alphabet on Sesame Street.
Go ahead... watch it. And CRY, BABY, CRY!!
If you're too much of a crybaby to sit through the whole thing, I'll tell you how it ends after the jump. SPOILER ALERT!!
He says, "Z."
1
B = "I do not like how you are standing in the way of C you fucker"
G = "I've been waiting for this letter all my damn life"
J = "J is a motherfuckin asshole and I'm going to wipe it's ass all over the floor"
L= "what the FUCK is this letter doing here?"
M= "What? M is here too? Unbelievable. Goddamn motherfuck."
P="I am going to try my best to not make this letter in any way refer to urine. It is not a respectable way to behave."
U = "Yes, YOU. bitch."
W = "Ah, finally, the only multi-syllabic letter of the alphabet, my favorite. A chance for me to really fuckin shine in all my oratorical glory."
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