Remember Splatterhouse?

It was a vaguely well known beat-em-up on the Genesis and Super Nintendo that pitted your hockey-mask-clad Jason Voorhees wannabe against hordes of enemies, all who were functionally just bags of blood waiting for you to wander by and give the house its titular splatter.

Like everything from our collective childhood, it's being remade, only this time with fancy 3-D graphics and -- based on this first trailer -- a heavy reliance on jump cuts.

I wanna say I have high hopes for this game as the original series was one of my guilty pleasures as a young gaming snob, but all I can think of watching this clip is how much it resembles an alternate reality Tampax commercial as directed by Eli Roth.