This Week in the Mercury

Film Shorts

Film

Film Shorts

In Which We Hit It and Quit It


<i>Madame Butterfly</i>

Theater

Madame Butterfly

Portland Opera Takes on Puccini's Tale of Love and Betrayal



Monday, October 27, 2008

Halloween Costume No-No's!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Oct 27, 2008 at 10:28 AM

If you're anything like me, right about now you're saying, "OH, CRAP ME! Halloween is this Friday, and I don't have a freaking costume yet!" Well, let me tell you one thing: Now is not the time to panic. When one panics, one makes hasty rash decisions which could lead to embarrassing Halloween costume mistakes. Take this kid for example:

scaled.worsthalloweencos.jpg

AWWWWWKWARD!

Don't make the Littlest Hitler's mistake. If you're really unsure about costume decisions, start with what NOT to do. For example, don't dress up like Sarah Palin unless you're putting a really creative spin on it (like dressing up as "Sexy Trig"). OH, and that's another thing: Don't dress up as anything "sexy" (like "Sexy French Maid" or "Sexy Lawyer" or "Sexy Little Red Riding Hood") unless you're legitimately sexy and are 100 percent convinced you're going to sleep with me. If you're somewhat sexy, then only dress up like off-kilter sexy things, such as "Sexy Robocop," or "Sexy Randy Leonard" or "Sexy Staph Infection."

BUT HEY, I'M SURE YOU'VE GOT GOOD IDEAS TOO! In the comments below, please list your ideas of costumes you DO NOT want to see this Halloween. The citizens of Blogtown will thank you! (And no, I haven't decided what I'm going to be yet, but I'm leaning toward "Sexy Nancy Pelosi.")

 

Comments (7) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
What happened to the "I have finished off the juice" caption?
Posted by A cat on October 27, 2008 at 11:32 AM · Report
2
No more Richie Tenenbaums please. I saw like five last year.
Posted by kiala on October 27, 2008 at 12:44 PM · Report
3
no more ironic hipsters
Posted by miguelaron on October 27, 2008 at 1:52 PM · Report
4
NO MORE "FUNNY" COSTUMES! Halloween is for scaring the bejeezus out of people gawddammit. Do it better!
Posted by gabriel amadeus on October 27, 2008 at 2:47 PM · Report
5
sexy ashley todd?

that's scary, right?

and very inexpensive.
Posted by old lady on October 27, 2008 at 7:14 PM · Report
6
I hope my Joe the Plummer costume is still okay.
Posted by ambrown on October 28, 2008 at 12:20 AM · Report
7
A Hitler costume for your kid? Seriously?

Great online resource for costume shopping, I highly recommend it:

http://www.sortprice.com/halloween.html

www.sortprice.com/halloween.html
Posted by Jester21 on October 28, 2008 at 8:40 AM · Report

Add a comment

/images/adoftheweek.gif

ad of the day

The Handyman Pro - Your Honey-Do Specialist
Don’t let our name fool you. The Handyman Pro, LLC is a repair and remodel service provider with over 25-years experience. We cover all aspects of construction and repairs for residential and commercial clients.go


post an ad

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use