If you're anything like me, right about now you're saying, "OH, CRAP ME! Halloween is this Friday, and I don't have a freaking costume yet!" Well, let me tell you one thing: Now is not the time to panic. When one panics, one makes hasty rash decisions which could lead to embarrassing Halloween costume mistakes. Take this kid for example:

AWWWWWKWARD!
Don't make the Littlest Hitler's mistake. If you're really unsure about costume decisions, start with what NOT to do. For example, don't dress up like Sarah Palin unless you're putting a really creative spin on it (like dressing up as "Sexy Trig"). OH, and that's another thing: Don't dress up as anything "sexy" (like "Sexy French Maid" or "Sexy Lawyer" or "Sexy Little Red Riding Hood") unless you're legitimately sexy and are 100 percent convinced you're going to sleep with me. If you're somewhat sexy, then only dress up like off-kilter sexy things, such as "Sexy Robocop," or "Sexy Randy Leonard" or "Sexy Staph Infection."
BUT HEY, I'M SURE YOU'VE GOT GOOD IDEAS TOO! In the comments below, please list your ideas of costumes you DO NOT want to see this Halloween. The citizens of Blogtown will thank you! (And no, I haven't decided what I'm going to be yet, but I'm leaning toward "Sexy Nancy Pelosi.")
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NO MORE "FUNNY" COSTUMES! Halloween is for scaring the bejeezus out of people gawddammit. Do it better!
A Hitler costume for your kid? Seriously?
Great online resource for costume shopping, I highly recommend it:
http://www.sortprice.com/halloween.html
www.sortprice.com/halloween.html
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