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I swear to god! I didn't do it!

I know you love to be grossed out during your lunch hour. Believe me when I tell you that this post will not disappoint! Here's the tasty tid-bit out of Sydney, Australia, from Reuters:

A bitter row has broken out between one of Sydney's largest tourist pubs and a family of five who accused chefs of serving human excrement in their gelato after they complained about noise during a football match.

All together now! Eeeeewwwwwww! What makes the story worse is that Australia is on the verge of a hot hot summer. They have the kind of summers that make a person crave for the creamy coolness of gelato. Not any more:

State government food minister Ian Macdonald confirmed on Wednesday that frozen fecal matter had been found in a serving of chocolate gelato offered to placate pub patron Steve Whyte and his wife Jessica, who became "violently ill" after eating it.

Ew, ew, ew (gag) ew... Of course, the proprietors of the gelato shop in question have denied serving the tainted product. To prove it, they have volunteered DNA samples. The problem lies in the fact that there are plenty of weird animals that could have easily left the load that would later be incorporated into the frozen treat. I personally think that Sydney food officials should be on the lookout for a guilty-eyed kangaroo, or a fecalphiliac koala.

Good thing the food minister is open to anything:

"Obviously, we are keeping an open mind and do not want to pre-empt this investigation in any manner," he said.

So, rest easy, Sydney.

And what have we learned from this, kids? Well, when in Australia, you shouldn't complain about the noise during a football match, always be on the look out for wallaby poop, and always (ALWAYS!) have your food taster, Geeves, take the first bite.