This Week in the Mercury

One Day at a Time

Columns

One Day at a Time

The Week in Review


Dangerous Lesions

Books

Dangerous Lesions

David Cronenberg's Cannibalism Debut Novel



Monday, November 3, 2008

Eat Your Vote

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Mon, Nov 3, 2008 at 3:45 PM

Democracy.jpg

Because participating in democracy leads to the same kind of hunger that one experiences after gymnastic sex or smoking a whole bunch of marijuana (or both), a couple national chains are offering voters free comestibles and hot liquids on election day.

So if you wanna get some free stuff for doing what you should be doing anyway, stop into a Starbucks, tell 'em you voted, and get a complimentary tall coffee.

It will go great with the free scoop of Ben and Jerry's ice cream that you just got for doing the same thing.

And if you're really into it, you can get thee to a Krispy Kreme and have delivered unto your sticky, post electoral hands, a free, star-shaped donut with patriotic sprinkles. Yum.

After all of that you will have the proper sugar/caffeine buzz necessary to brave the Mercury's election night party at the Doug Fir. What? You didn't know that we were going to have an election night party at the Doug Fir? That's just ridiculous...

Comments (2)

Showing 1-2 of 2

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-2 of 2

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy