Because participating in democracy leads to the same kind of hunger that one experiences after gymnastic sex or smoking a whole bunch of marijuana (or both), a couple national chains are offering voters free comestibles and hot liquids on election day.
So if you wanna get some free stuff for doing what you should be doing anyway, stop into a Starbucks, tell 'em you voted, and get a complimentary tall coffee.
It will go great with the free scoop of Ben and Jerry's ice cream that you just got for doing the same thing.
And if you're really into it, you can get thee to a Krispy Kreme and have delivered unto your sticky, post electoral hands, a free, star-shaped donut with patriotic sprinkles. Yum.
After all of that you will have the proper sugar/caffeine buzz necessary to brave the Mercury's election night party at the Doug Fir. What? You didn't know that we were going to have an election night party at the Doug Fir? That's just ridiculous...
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