I loathe marketing.
At best it serves to lie to us and at worse it preys upon the most basic fears and needs of the human race.
Marketing designed to appeal to gamers -- or, more specifically, some ad exec's idea of what a gamer is -- exemplifies this disgusting practice while constantly exploiting humanity's most precious resource: Our beautiful women.
Face it: Men are dumb.
A pretty girls flashes us a smile or shows a bit of tit and all but the most stoic, blind monks are willing to cut out their tongues the moment she asks. Call it nature's great equalizer; Women aspire to push a tiny human through their cooters, so karma gives them almost magical power over the male of the species.
I'm not about to push anything solid through my junk, so I don't hold this against the fairer sex. They've earned it.
The sad bit though, is that the marketing people responsible for selling games to the world are only too aware of this, and exploit man's weakness to woman at every opportunity.
Earlier today I stumbled upon a co-production of GameTrailers.com -- an MTV-owned website that specializes in videos of popular games -- and Spike TV -- the network for
men sexually insecure teenage boys -- dubbed "GT's Girls of Gaming."
I'm not quite sure what it is about this site that set me off, as I'm constantly exposed to this kind of male-centric gaming advertisement, but seriously, this website is fucking ridiculous. They may as well just post pictures of barely legal teens masturbating with assault rifles for how blatantly sexist and overtly masculine the whole thing is.
To wit: A woman named Brooke Marks is shown in a video clip enacting some bizarre skit focused on World of Warcraft. I'm not one to say pretty girls don't play the game -- I've got a number of ex-girlfriends who play, and I'm wildly superficial -- but why does Ms. Marks need to be in her underwear to extoll the virtues of Blizzard's game? Stupid question, yes, but think of it this way: If she was fully clothed (or a guy) would anyone give a fuck what she has to say?
No? Good answer. You're a bright one. Gold star for you.
Following that line of reasoning, wouldn't it be safe to assume that she's not only simply being used for her looks, but for her unclothed looks?
So, essentially, she's a stripper?
Only, the marketing people have the gall to dress the whole thing up as legitimate ad copy? I'd applaud Ms. Marks if she was swinging from a pole at Devil's Point, but as is I want to punch her handlers in the face, ask her how much she was paid for the spot, and promptly vomit out of disgust.
... Before cleaning myself up, asking for her number, and offering to buy her a pony.
Then again, maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe this exploitation of ladies is exactly what the male gaming demographic craves.
Maybe the stereotypical gamer ideal -- that sexless, overweight nerd who craves dominion over women who will forever be kept from him owing to his social awkwardness and freakish appearance -- still exists and somehow just passed me over. I admit, I'm a pretty guy with a jawline like a velociraptor -- and maybe that's enough to keep me from getting a hard-on over videos of Heidi Klum in her skivvies rocking out to Guitar Hero World Tour.
But I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels like stabbing an ad executive every time something like this pops up.
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!