This Week in the Mercury
Thursday, November 13, 2008
SEX / Events / Ethics Economic Downturn? Let 'Em Get Naked!
Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Thu, Nov 13, 2008 at 3:22 PM
It's a fact: When the world is experiencing an economic crisis, most people have the urge to get naked and do unspeakable things to one another. Don't believe me? Check this story from Reuters:
CANBERRA (Reuters) - An Australian holiday resort will hold a month-long, nude "anything goes" party to combat an expected economic downturn, media reports said on Thursday.
That's right, "anything goes." Bust out the Shea Butter and the kiwi flavored lube, it's time for some economic stimulation... if ya catch my drift.
"Tough economic times call for stiff measures," Tony Fox, the owner of the White Cockatoo resort in Mossman, in tropical Queensland state, told the Courier-Mail newspaper.
You see what Mr. Fox did there? "Stiff measures." Ohhhhh yeah. I'm not sure what's more awesome about this story: that this Aussie's named Mr. Fox, that he uses sexual innuendo when talking to news organizations, or that his resort is called the White Cockatoo.
But wait! Not everyone is stoked about this tropical bacchanalia.
"You've got to wonder what sort of people go and why. Where is the moral code of behavior and how do you stop jealousies and fights?" Cairns Catholic Bishop James Foley said after Fox's announcement.
...while numerous alter boys, seeing the chance to escape, ran screaming from beneath his vestments. Moral Code of Behavior? Why, Bishop, I believe you have something in your eye.
Anyway, the Mayor, Val Schier, seems to be a-ok with the idea of a one-month-long flesh fest in his region:
"People in tropical north Queensland are extraordinarily creative," Schier said. "It is tough economic times and as long as it is with consenting adults, then there is no problem."
And guess what? Mr. Fox's scheme seems to have worked. He reports that he's nearly completely booked for what will certainly be a disturbing month of swinger shenanigans.
I hope we can all learn a few lessons from this:
One, Australia is kinda gross.
Two, Sex can save the economy.
And Three, I have no patience with the Catholic church when it accuses others of moral turpitude.
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