This Week in the Mercury

Tour Guide to Shakespeare

Theater

Tour Guide to Shakespeare

Portland Center Stage's Shakespeare's Amazing Cymbeline.


I Love Television™

Columns

I Love Television™

Into the Donkey Abyss



  |  

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

News Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Nov 19, 2008 at 8:39 AM

Let the playa-hate begin! Critics are criticizing Obama for choosing too many people with ties to the Clinton administration.

Wait... and the number two guy in Al-Qaeda is hating on Obama, too? AND tossing around racial epithets? Oh, HELL No!

Bill Clinton has apparently decided to stop being a big baby and play ball in order to get Hillary the Secretary of State seat.

In his final days in office, President Bush is scrambling to fuck up as much shit as possible before he leaves.

Convicted Alaskan felon (and Republican) Ted Stevens has LOST his race for the Senate seat. Only two more Democrats needed for a filibuster-proof majority!

Auto executives are on Capitol Hill today to beg for $25 million in aid to help them make some more totally awesome 4x4 Ford Tundras.

Suri Cruise (toddler of Tom and Katie) has topped the list of "Hottest Tots" by the APA (American Pedophile Association).

And finally... Meg Ryan's breasts. O, how the mighty have fallen.

Meg_Ryan.jpg

 

Comments (8) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Those fuckwits in Detroit want $25 BILLION to manufacture more hybrid SUV's. $25 million would only cover the higher-echelon bonuses--based on fiscal performance, of course.
Posted by Lanceonfire on November 19, 2008 at 9:36 AM · Report
2
If you can't build a product people want to buy, why would the Feds help you stay in business? Hell, I could build a piece of crap too, then ask for a bail-out when nobody buys it!!
Posted by Badself on November 19, 2008 at 10:30 AM · Report
3
The Bush fucking things up link just goes to the Clinton story. I want to know about fucking things up!
Posted by lalalala on November 19, 2008 at 11:55 AM · Report
4
hey her boobs don't look half bad.
Posted by ben on November 19, 2008 at 1:33 PM · Report
5
not half good, either. plastic.
Posted by miguelaron on November 19, 2008 at 2:08 PM · Report
6
Sorry! "Bush fucking shit up" link is no longer fucked up. Sorry for fucking that shit up.
Posted by Wm. Steven Humphrey on November 19, 2008 at 2:39 PM · Report
7
It's like she's wearing a belt made of softballs.
Posted by Lanceonfire on November 19, 2008 at 4:15 PM · Report
8
Toyota makes the Tundra. And it is badass.
Posted by montaqua on November 19, 2008 at 4:28 PM · Report

Add a comment

Our Friends

Our Enemies

/images/adoftheweek.gif

ad of the day

The Handyman Pro - Your Honey-Do Specialist
Don’t let our name fool you. The Handyman Pro, LLC is a repair and remodel service provider with over 25-years experience. We cover all aspects of construction and repairs for residential and commercial clients.go


post an ad

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use