This Week in the Mercury


Thursday, November 20, 2008

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Nov 20, 2008 at 9:25 AM

Here's some good civil rights news: The California Supreme Court will take a look at Proposition 8 to see if the voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage is constitutional. WOOT! Keep your fingers crossed!

Bush extends unemployment benefits as jobless rates reach... wait for it... a 16-year high. And just guess how the stock market reacted to this news?

In "Obama transition team" news: Tom Daschle takes over Health and Human Services, Janet Napolitano will allegedly head Homeland Security, and if all goes according to plan, Hillary Clinton could be named Secretary of State by early next week.

Things are looking bad indeed for the big three automakers who are begging for a bailout. "Hey, what if we promise to take a limo home instead of our private corporate jet?"

Experts agree that Al-Qaeda is scared shitless of Obama (hence their chickenshit taped message). BAWK! BAWK! BAWK!

With the Minnesota recount in full swing, Democrat Al Franken is slowly gaining ground, coming within 174 votes of Republican Norm Coleman.

While walking out on stage at the G20 summit, President Bush refuses to shake any of the world leaders' hands, and they in turn completely ignore him. Sad or HILARIOUS? You make the call!

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