This Week in the Mercury
Monday, December 1, 2008
Food Holiday Treats: Candle (eww) Salad
Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Mon, Dec 1 at 3:03 PM
A delightful, lovely, rabid office foodie (who shall remain nameless) messaged a link to me this afternoon which introduced me to the mysterious "candle salad." It's times like this that I wish we had a food tag with a question mark--as in, "food?"
The candle salad is made of a banana, which represents the candle (um) shaft, upended in a pineapple round, atop a leaf of lettuce. The banana is topped with whipped cream--cast as dripping wax, apparently--and a shiny maraschino cherry to act as the flame. Apparently, this "salad" is usually made for children around the holidays when candles become a necessary festive accessory. But the end result is less O, Holy Night! and more O, Holy Ghost of John Holmes!
I'd never heard of candle salad before, but my research found a recipe for this phallic concoction in a Betty Crocker cookbook published in the seventies called, quite to the point, Cookbook for Boys and Girls.
Ahh the seventies... If only we could go back to those innocent times, when a free standing banana, topped with a cherry and whipped cream, didn't fill our minds with repulsive images of oozing coitus. Still, the candle salad is still popular, based on some recent candle salad pictures.
What? It's just fruit and whipped cream for god's sake! Though, I'll admit that this does remind me of the pitch I wanted to make to Mrs. (Ms.?) Betty Crocker in regards to erotic holiday cookie cutters.
Oh and incidentally, I'd like to welcome Babble Sauce to the Internets. They're the newest Portland Foodie Forum on the block. And they're pervs, I guess.
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I like how there's weiners in blankets next to them in the last picture.
I understand those are supposed to be mushy diseased penises, and it's pretty clear what the lettuce represents, but what about the pineapples?
The pineapple are "banana" rings.
They keep your "banana" upright and strong all through the night.
woah...that is the most phallic salad I've ever seen.
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