A day or two ago I reviewed the brand new DVD release of 1951's sci-fi classic The Day the Earth Stood Still.

AND THEN. This a.m. I opened my mail to discover that Fox had mistakenly sent me another copy of the DVD. This is the two-disc special edition release, which came out on Tuesday, and it boasts a slew of special features PLUS an "e-Movie Cash code" that'll grant you $7.50 towards seeing the new version of the film, which stars the oft-mocked Keanu Reeves, the ridiculously gorgeous Jennifer Connelly, and The Fresh Princelet.

Normally I'd either (A) take this extra DVD to Everyday Music and sell it or (B) clumsily wrap it and give it as an Xmas gift to someone that I don't care enough about to actually buy a present for. But since my mom sent me an advent calendar this morning (thanks Mom!), I'm going to give the DVD to one of you guys, because I'm in one of my rare cheerful moods. (Said mood may or may not have something to do with the fact I just ate 24 chocolates in two minutes and 38 seconds.)

How do you win? Here's the deal:

I have been relentlessly teased about this, but I actually genuinely like Keanu Reeves, and I don't get why everyone snickers derisively and/or makes cartoony eye-rolling gestures every time his name comes up. KEANU HAS DONE NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS IRE. So I'd like this DVD to go to someone who has a similar respect and appreciation for Neo/Ted/Siddhartha/Johnny Mnemonic/Johnny Utah/Jack Traven/Don John. So: Write a short essay (50 words or less!) about how great Keanu Reeves is, and email it to me no later than 5 pm today. The person with the most convincing (AND NON-SARCASTIC) ode to Keanu will get an email from me shortly after 5. Make sure your subject line is "Cool breeze over the mountains." (Not only is that a beautiful and relaxing phrase, it is also what "Keanu" means in Hawaiian!)

Here's some motivation.

UPDATE: Yes! All of our Keanu-lovin' contestants' essays will be posted, after the jump, at the end of the day. (The ones I've gotten so far are excellent, and really do deserve to be read by as many people as possible.) So when you submit your piece, be sure to lemme know how you want to be credited--first name, full name, or anonymously.

Behold the submitted essays. (The winner, I decided, had to be Nickey Robo--the simple phrase "He is marvelous" is simply too true to be denied.)

Keanu Reeves has played many wonderful parts with lots of deep meaning, from The Prince of Philadelphia to Excellent Adventure to The Matrix. Excellent Adventure, from certain points of view, is a most excellent demonstration of a simple yet profound philosophy. There's really way too much for only 50 words!
-LJF Wolffe

For many years, I did not realize how wonderful an actor Keanu Reeves really was. I would jokingly state that "Bill and Ted was his ultimate role," because it seemed to just be him playing himself. The truth was, I'd never given him a real chance. Then I saw My Own Private Idaho for the first time, and was blown away by what a fantastic actor he really is. I saw Keanu in a whole new light--a much more nuanced actor than the average American mouth-breather could ever recognize. He is marvelous.
-Nickey Robo

Let's be honest, Reeves is a shit actor. He's got the range of a corpse with Down Syndrome. And you'd think that'd disqualify him from acting, but no! The man has overcome his disability and rocked everything from gay-Portland-art-house-flicks to anarco-leather-kung-fu-epics. Reeves is a fucking badass!
-Kyle

While Keanu may not always evince a high mental capacity, he always pulls through with the action. Speed? That movie rocked. And all those sweet stunts in The Matrix? How can you not love that guy? P.S. The dolphin in Johnny Mnemonic and Keanu were a fantastic pairing.
-Nick