This Week in the Mercury

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Dec 11, 2008 at 9:02 AM

Obama flatly denies that he had any involvement with Gov. Blagojevich's attempt to sell his Senate seat… but is still gathering information about whether any of his team was involved. Uh-oh.

• While Jesse Jackson Jr. has been confirmed as "candidate 5," officials say there's no proof that he attempted to buy Obama's senate seat other than Gov. Blaggo's wiretap comments. God, I love making fun of that name. How about Count Blagula?

• Though the $15 bill auto bailout made it through congress, now Obama has to appeal to a-hole senate Republicans—and they're not having any of it.

• By the way, the only way the GOP can succeed is not on their own merit, but through the failure of others. Sad, sad, sad.

• Is universal health care on the way? Obama assigns Tom Daschle to pull double-duty as Health and Human Services secretary AND the newly formed White House Office of Health Reform.

• A prominent cardinal in Chile has blasted Madonna's concert for causing "crazy enthusiasm" and "impure thoughts." For him maybe. I haven't had an impure thought for Madonna since 1987.

• So how can Barack Obama's internet addresses hope to compete with all the legitimately awesome stuff on the web? Funny or Die has a few ideas… starting with boobies. And kittens!

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