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Friday, December 12, 2008

Voulez Vous Comme Ci Comme Ca et Zut Alors Baguette Merci et Loup-Garou!

Posted by Erik Henriksen on Fri, Dec 12, 2008 at 12:53 PM

levaselintalkers.jpg

When it comes to France, I think of a lot of snooty, smelly, pasty-white milquetoasts sitting on satin pillows, sipping lavender tea, nibbling on foie gras crepes, putting out their cigarettes in glasses of champagne, and talking about Amelie and Jerry Lewis (Jerrie le Roi), and doing so using only their horrid, incomprehensible moon-man language that makes it sound like all of their mouths are full of Vaseline (le Vaselin).

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Erik Henriksen took over five years of French classes throughout his junior high, high school, and college careers—yet still cannot speak it at even a first-year fluency level. Indeed, he can't even remember any phrases in the language, other than "Vous tete est merde, oui oui c'est vrai!", which probably isn't even grammatically correct. Erik Henriksen also holds grudges. Please keep these facts in mind while evaluating the above statement.]

Anyways, the only thing that's even barely tolerable that's EVER come out of France was District B13, a suprisingly non-sucky action flick that combined parkour and martial arts. Was District B13 kickass enough to make up for all the things France does wrong? (Like their stupid, stupid language that is IMPOSSIBLE TO LEARN NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY?) Of course not! But it was a good start.

Now there's a trailer for the sequel, B13: Ultimatum, which looks excellent. If France keeps exporting these every few years, they should get back in my good graces sometime around the year 2093.

Merci merci, Twitch, Row Three, et Quiet Earth!

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